My Hindsight Is Blurry

The Man Code

2010-04-06T17:10:00.001-06:00

The men's room can sometimes be a place for awkward interactions. Sure, we hope that won't be the case, but it isn't always possible. Sometimes other men break the code, and that's bad. The code is simple; walk in, pee or deficate, and walk out. Hopefully you manage to wash your hands too.

We were in between shows at the Comedy Club in Ogden, when I decided to take a pee-pee break(I can call it that if I want). I walked in, and there was a small line. Two guys waiting were jabbering like crazy, and they were loud. Not a huge deal to me, but the dude at the urinal took issue. He leaned back, turned his head toward the rear, and yelled.

"Hey! Can you guys shut up!!!" he exclaimed. "I can't pee with all your talking!!! You're giving me stage-fright!!!"

The other guys stopped talking for at least a moment. It seemed like only a few seconds before they started up again.

"Heeeeeyyyy!!! What's your problem!!!! I'm trying to pee here!!!"

He zipped up and stepped away. My turn. I have no problem with the talking. I can pee anywhere. After I was done, the same guy stepped up to try again.

"Alright!!! You guys better shut up this time!!! I really need to do this!!! I need to go bad!!!"

I didn't hang around for the outcome. It was time to get ready for the show. The moment that made me laugh however was just after I was introduced as the emcee. The second I stepped on stage, I could hear that same loud, aggravated voice.

"AWWWWW HELL NO!!!!"

Hey! I Posted A New Comedy Video!

2010-04-06T17:05:00.001-06:00

Self-explanatory.

(Incriminating)Things Kids Say

2009-07-14T16:42:00.003-06:00

I swear I'm a nice guy. Really!!! Still, what my daughter said to me some days ago made me wonder. I had just got home from work and sat down at the dinner table. My six year-old looked at me very matter-of-factly and said,

"Dad, Mom and me have had a bad day so you don't need to come home and just start yelling at me."

What!!! Immediately, I started scanning my brain, going over my usual come home routine in my head.

Uhhh... come home, put stuff down, check e-mail, walk upstairs, sit down for dinner...

...

...start yelling??? Huh? That doesn't sound right!!!

After talking with her more, I learned that she had just been in a lot of trouble with her Mom that day and her comment was a reflection of that. At one point, I asked her,

"Do I usually come home and start yelling?"

"No," she said.

Phew!

Things Heard From The Mic

2009-06-15T15:34:00.005-06:00

A lot of people say a lot of crazy things at shows. Usually it's an obnoxious drunk person, trying to become part of the act. Sometimes it's just a really odd response someone gives as you try to work the crowd. The one I heard Friday was well, neither.

There was a group of girls in the front row to the left of me. It happened as I got into my Asian material. I started with my usual setup.

"People are always trying to guess my race," I'd say. "I'm Half-White, Half-Asian..."

"I knew it!" One of the girls exclaimed to her friends.

That was pretty much out loud. It was the next part that I don't think I was supposed to hear. It was a bit lower. More of a pronounced whisper.

"I love Half-Asians!!!"

Nice.

I always knew I was tasty.

Help us Win a Video Contest!!!

2009-05-18T10:36:00.004-06:00

Hey folks! The wife and I have entered a video contest for CheapOair. Our video has made the final five, and if we get enough votes we could win a trip to Europe! Please help us win by casting your vote. All you have to do is leave a comment on the CheapOair blog. PLEASE VOTE!!! It was a fun vid. Check it out. My wife slapped me. We did several takes with that shot, so she slapped me lots of times. She said she wanted to get it just right, but they all seemed fine to me. It was just one take with all the other shots. Oh well. VOTE HERE.

How Starving Children Made Me Fat

2009-04-29T17:03:00.003-06:00

When I was young, my Mom taught me that it is bad to waste food. Somewhere along the way, I do believe there was mention that if I did so I would somehow inflict harm upon starving children in Africa. That lesson has become ingrained in my psyche. To this day, I feel guilty at the very thought of letting some portion of food go to waste. This is why I have a hard time turning down the free food at work. I believe I've blogged about this before, maybe two years ago or something. But my recent behavior over the past two days has reminded me that I have a real problem with the free food at work! Here's what I took in yesterday:

-One breakfast orange roll
-Lunch at Cafe Rio, and a Tres Leche for dessert
-One Glazed Donut

The day before was bad too. I had:

-Some Kentucky Fried Chicken. That new grilled chicken. It was good and greasy.
-The remnants of some kind of strawberry cream cake thingy.
-Two rolls covered in some kind of cream cheese spread.
-I also ate leftovers from home that I brought for lunch; a hamburger and a yogurt.

Again, this was all free food. I did use some willpower though. There were some chocolate-orange candies that I left alone. Those African children would be proud, but somehow I don't think my Mom would be.

I'm Just Half-Ethnic

2009-04-27T12:49:00.004-06:00

Had some decent shows this weekend. Worked with Bone Hampton, who was very funny. He did this thing where he watched each of the comics before him, and then made fun of them during his set. For me it was something like,

"We had a Latino comedian up here, trying to tell us he Half-Asian!!! I know a Latino when I see one, and you is a Latino! You one of those Hernandez boys!!!"

I can't remember it exactly. It was probably funnier if you were there. Crap, I wonder if I was really adopted and my parents never had the heart to tell me.

Blog is Back and Stuff from Minnesota

2009-04-17T11:24:00.007-06:00

Here I go, trying to resurrect this blog once again. I seriously lack the motivation to do so lately. I think twitter is the new blog. Most people don't have the time or patience to read a whole blog post. A quick, one-line update seems better suited for today's short attention-span society. Still, I like having a sort of journal, and I know some people... maybe like three or four, acutally used to read this. So maybe if I post again, people will read again.

Anyway, I had a fun time performing at the University of Minnesota this past weekend. The folks at the Asian-American Student Union were nice enough to fly me out and pay me to perform at their annual Spring Banquet. I was part of a two-hour long program. Actually, it was supposed to be two hours, but I think it ended up closer to three. I got to emcee the event, and do about 20 minutes of material.

I've done a variety of events and venues in my short 5-plus years as a comic, but this was my first time performing for a crowd of pretty much only Asians. There were around 400 there! I was somewhat unsure about how it would go over. I thought maybe the reaction would be different than my usual crowds, and it was. It was a good different. It's great when you see that so many people can relate to what you're talking about. I know a lot of my Asian-based material can be very self-depricating, but it's all a reflection of the crap I went through as a kid... and sometimes still go through as an adult. Then again, maybe I'm expecting people to read way too much into what are really just jokes.

Either way it was a great time. There were a number of student acts in the show, and three other performers that they brought in; a dancer named Kenichi Ebina, the all-Asian rock band Seriously, and all-Asian R&B group IBU. They were all very impressive.

Here's a few pictures from the show. I didn't take a lot. I'm still not great at photo-blogging. I took a few during the event, and afterwards just about everytime someone asked to get a picture with me, I would say, "Hey! Get one for me too." So here ya go...

I'm Blogging!!!

2008-10-08T14:13:00.003-06:00

Every once in a while, I get a crazy new idea that I think might magically transform my comedy act and make me an overnight success. I'm not sure why I do this. Things seem to be progressing at a fairly normal pace right now. Maybe be it's because a few well-known comics have gotten big success by making one drastic change. For example, Dan Whitney was your average stand up comic for a long time, until he decided to start acting like a really stoopid redneck. Now he's "Larry The Cable Guy." Maybe that's a bad example. I don't want to be the next cable guy. That guy's annoying.

Anyhow, my big idea last week was to try a lot of current event and political humor. I guess it started with one or two bits that worked. Then I realized that it didn't seem hard for me to write a few more bits based on stuff from the news. The punchlines seemed to come easily. I thought maybe I could develop a ten-minute part of my set and keep it going with timely material that would be constantly re-written and re-worked. Easier said than done.

Saturday night I went on stage with a lot of my usual stuff, and maybe three or four new pieces of material ripped from the headlines. I also tried one new observational bit that I was sure wouldn't work, but decided to do anyway.

Much to my surprise the current event, monologue type material fell pretty flat. However the observational bit which is more like the stuff I usually do, worked surprisingly well.

It was a worth a try I guess. I've tried several other radical changes over the years that haven't worked out either, including...

-Being monotone and as dry as possible all the time.
-Doing only Asian material all the time.
-Trying to make myself much more animated than I normally am.
-Doing mostly one-liners all the time.
-Telling long stories instead of short jokes.
-Wearing a dress on stage.

Okay, I made the last one up but you get the idea. Once again, I learn that being myself is what works for me. There's no magic change that's gonna give me instant success. Dang it!!! It's like I'm gonna have to work at this.

Exfoliating Is For Rich People(And Women)

2008-08-01T14:15:00.005-06:00

I was at the local mall with my two daughters. We were trying to leave when I became the target of a saleswoman at a kiosk. I quickly looked away, but it was too late. I can't remember what she said to accost me, but it didn't matter. Just as I tried to say "no thanks," she already had my wrists, firmly gripped in her hands.

"Let me look at your hands," she said.

Almost instantly, her face took on a very surprised look.

"Oh my..." she started.

Usually when a woman comments on my hands, it's on how soft they are for a man. Guys however don't comment. Probably because it would be kind of awkward for a man to say,

"Dude, your hands feel nice!"

Anyway, what she said next was a bit unexpected.

"Do you work in construction!!!???" she gasped.

At first I thought I'd really let myself go. My once supple hands were now tarnished. I then realized this was more of a ploy; part of the sales pitch. Before I could react, she quickly grabbed a glob of a goopy, crystallized substance and put it in my palm.

"Here, rub this in your hands," she started. "All over. Now you are exfoliating."

I usually try not to exfoliate, especially not in public. It is not a masculine thing to do. In this case, I did not have a choice. It was a forced exfoliation.

She continued to explain that the solution contained salt from the Dead Sea. As I rinsed in a bowl, the water quickly turned a brown color.

"Look at all that dirt that came off your hands!!!" she exclaimed. My first reaction was to make sure the back of my hands were still tan. They were. Phew. I was relieved to see that I was still my quasi-ethnic self.

I dried off. I thought we were done, but no. She then put a yellow-colored goop in my hands. It was lotion, made with some kind of butter. Maybe it was coco-butter. I'm not sure. I only remember that she said lotion and butter. And that I really wanted to leave.

"How does that feel?" she asked.

I thought it was a bit greasy, but that's not what I said.

"Uh, yeah it's very nice. My wife would be into this, but it's not really for me."

"Well when was the last time you surprised your wife???" she persisted. She was pretty good with the sales pitch, but not good enough.

"These two products are usually seventy dollars each..."

Yikes! Apparently that pretty-smelling, flowery stuff my wife gets at Bath & Body Works is for poor people. If you want a real hand treatment, you gotta' spend some real money. The surprising my wife thing is gonna' have to wait... again.

I'm done exfoliating for a very long time. I'm keeping my manly dirt... and my money.

Sherry Yin Anderson, September 1937- June 2008

2008-07-08T15:17:00.010-06:00

There's a picture I wish I could share of my mother. It's an old photo of me and her at a park in Ontario, California. I was about four or five years old. I was going down a slide. She was smiling. She was young and healthy; probably just a bit older than I am now. I happened upon the picture the night before her funeral. We were at my parent's condo, where I found a stack of old albums in a closet. It was a jackpot of memories, some long before I was born. She was beautiful. My wife and I looked through, deciding which ones we wanted displayed at the service. I got to the picture in the park and lost it. For some reason, I could remember that particular slide. It was made of stone. I remembered playing on it, and what it felt like. I remembered living life without any adult worries, while climbing a slide in the park with my parents.

My Mom was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this year. It was already at stage four when discovered, and the doctor gave her six months to a year to live. She made it roughly four or five months. Still, I think my Dad and I believed she could somehow fight this and survive. After all, she had overcome so much in years past. A stroke. Lupus. I think to her, this was just one more hurdle to overcome. I would tell her on the phone that we needed to drive to California and see her right away. She would always insist that there was no point, that we should save it for after she got better. That never happened. She passed on Father's Day.

I got a call from my Dad the Friday night before. He told me that Mom's condition had significantly worsened. My wife and I decided we needed to take the four of us out to see her right away. We packed into the car and started driving the next day. We had a number of obstacles along the way. A flat tire, broken air conditioning. Ultimately, our journey was delayed at least a couple of hours. Long story short, we eventually arrived at the hosptial to find that my Mom had passed just an hour before. I still have a hard time with that. Luckily, we did have one good visit with her shortly after she was diagnosed.

Suffice it to say, the last few weeks have been rough. I'll have some good days, and then others that are remarkably hard. I know I don't blog a lot lately, but I've avoided it for the past few weeks specifically because I knew that this would have to be my next post. I still had a hard time getting through it. Getting back on stage hasn't been easy either, since a lot of my material was about my Mom. It was hard enough doing that material when I knew she was ill. I'm sure I'll get back to it soon though.

My wife posted the eulogy from the funeral on her blog. It was written by my Uncle Leonard. If you would like to read it, you can find the link here.

I know this small tribute is much delayed, but as I said things have been rough. Thanks for reading. I miss ya' Mom.

What I Think About On My Birthday...

2008-05-27T13:23:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I turned 33, and I think I've finally taken ownership of my 30's. It's been a few years, but that's okay when you consider the the intense gravity of the situation. Turning 30 was rough, because you suddenly realize you're no longer in your youthful 20's. When I hit 31 I had an even tougher time because I realized I was in my 30's. Thirty-two only reinforced the thirty-something status. Today however, I've reached a certain level of acceptance at age 33. I know that I'm officially kind of old, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's okay. Life for now has re-stabilized and come out of quarter-life crisis mode. Things should hopefully stay that way until I hit 40, when I will sink into a deep self-loathing depression. Thank goodness for 33.

More Stagetime, More Anxiety

2008-05-19T12:20:00.003-06:00

The Wiseguys in West Valley has started hiring Feature spots for Fridays and Saturdays. That means more local opportunities for comics like me. For those who don't know, in most Comedy Clubs the Feature is the comic who does about 30 minutes in between the Emcee and the Headliner. It's more stagetime, and a bit more money.

I got to feature my first time there this past weekend. Since I don't often do sets that long, you can imagine that I had a bit of anxiety going into it. I mean, the longer you're up there, the more things can go wrong. Over the four short years that I've been doing standup, I've become progressively more and more picky with what material I keep. I think after my first year of standup, I at one time claimed to have thirty minutes of material, I then went back and cut it down to ten. Later on I had thirty again, then cut it down to fifteen, then thirty again, and then down to twenty and so on. Nowadays I'm back to around thirty, so doing a feature set more or less means doing all of my material.

Much to my surprise, I was pretty pleased with how the weekend ended out. None of the shows for me were perfect, but all turned out better than I expected.

I also learned that my self-depricating nature may have curtailed my ability to promote myself. After some of the shows, I was surprised with some of the comments I got like, "Hey, do you have a mailing list to let us know when you'll be here again?"

I've never viewed myself as someone that people would come to a club specifically to see. Which is probably why I don't have a mailing list. I still think those people are the rare exception, but it's still nice to hear. Maybe I should set up an e-mail address just for that purpose, since not everyone is on myspace. But then again I'd have to figure out a way to print cards, or let people know about it somehow. That stuff takes work. It's a lot easier to sit around and play video games, which is what I usually do when I should be doing something constructive.

Should Have Been A "Man-Man"

2008-03-13T10:10:00.008-06:00

I'm 32 years old. However, if we're talking about my mental age the number skews a bit lower. I used to think I was maybe 25 or 27 on the inside, but after a conversation I had with my wife last night, it's looking more like 17.

We were talking about what she wants for her birthday. One of the choices was a scrapbooking tool. Scrapbooking is her hobby. That's fine. I have a hobby too: video games.

For some of you, the story and discussion end here. You already know why my mental age is 17. You've instantaneously written me off as some kind of a kid-like, nerd-geek-dork-dude. I know many adults see video games as a kids' toy. You may not even see a reason to continue reading, but be patient. Let me dig my hole even deeper. I also know that if my mother reads this post, she will shake her head in disbelief of my immaturity. Hold on Mom, it gets worse.

I soon shifted the conversation with my wife to what I want for my birthday(it's still almost three months away). At the top of my list of course, is a video game called Rock Band. Along with this game, you get a fake guitar, fake drums, and a semi-fake microphone. Something about this game makes it extremely fun to pretend to play the guitar, drums, bass, or sing in front of a TV. It's even better when you have friends over as I learned while playing a friend's copy of the game. Sure, I can already do three out of those four things in real life, but sometimes the fake stuff is more fun. You understand, right?

My wife started to ask adult questions.

"Where are going to put all this crap?" she said.

I gave some simple, perhaps non-adult answers.

"Uh... we'll just keep it downstairs."

"How big are those drums?" she continued. "We can't just leave them lying out there."

"Oh it's not that big." I said. "It's about the same size as the girls' fake kitchen."

My wife let out a groan of what I think was disgust.

"Ugh! It's like I'm married to a teenager!"

I then realized I was comparing my daughter's fake kitchen, with what would be my fake drums. Her toys, and my toys. They might even sit in the basement, right next to each other.

It became painfully obvious to me that I had become "child-man".

Actually, the transformation probably happened some time ago. Or perhaps I always was "child-man", because I never really became "man-man."

I think most women prefer to marry "adult-man", or "mature-man." Those guys usually make a good "career-man" which turns into a good "father-man." I'd like to think I'm some of those things too, I just have a hobby. How is this any different than being a crazy sports nut, or a golfer, or even leaving home for a couple of weeks out of the year to go deer huntin'??? Those hobbies are more socially acceptable, which makes it okay, but I digress...

Sigh

I still wanna' play me some Rock Band.

Argh, January!

2008-01-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy month at work. So much so, that I haven't had any time for stand up comedy or apparently blogging. I did get to do some interesting stuff at work though, including some coverage of the Sundance Film Festival. I've covered it before, but never as much as this year. By the end of the week I had developed road rage over searching for parking spaces. All that repeated parallel parking didn't help either.

I'll have more busy days ahead as I go down to Kanab for another big story. Watch 2 News to find out what it is! Uh... this one will also make some national news. Hopefully I'll be back to the comedy thing by this weekend.

I've posted some pictures from Sundance below. Many of them don't look that great, because I was operating two cameras at once, and as you can imagine, the other one took precedence. Take a look!

Robert DeNiro

Bruce Willis

Bono & The Edge from U2

Randy Quaid, sporting a big fur coat. Someone commented that the coat looks like it was made from his beard.

I Guess This Is The Big Time...

2008-01-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

Somehow, one of my stand up comedy clips is now being featured on National Lampoon's website. I submitted the clip about a year ago to another comedy website that anyone could upload clips to. I had no idea that would make me eligible to be selected for National Lampoon site.

I guess it's not super-cool, but it was kind of cool to see myself there, featured on one of the main pages. It kinda makes me wish I updated my clip though. It's an old one, and I like to think I've improved since then.

Anyway, here's the link!

My Christmas Song

2007-12-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

I decided to dabble a bit with musical comedy. I'm not so sure I'll do more of it, since I didn't quite get the desired result. I got to try out my "funny" Christmas song about five times. The first couple of times the audience reaction was good. The other times, it was more well... meh. On top of that, I kept screwing up the extremely simple song; each time screwing it up in a different part. Oh well...

Anyway, here's the video. Several people told me they liked it, but I think liking the song and thinking it's actually funny can be two different things. Overall it's a tough read, but I do have some other ideas for more songs and I may or may not try them. Enjoy!

Don't Game With Your Kids

2007-12-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

"Dad, can we play the racing game?"

Lately, my four-year-old daughter has started asking me this question at around 6:30 each night. The two of us will sit down to some quick gaming sessions with Burnout: Revenge. Unfortunately, getting her in on the game isn't always easy. I try not to let my frustration show.

She's good at picking her car and choosing the color. After that, things start to fall apart. Burnout is pretty forgiving since you essentially get rewarded for crashing into other cars and causing mass destruction. Still, as we get into each race, she usually ends up driving straight into a wall.

"Dad, how do I get out?" she will ask several times.

"It's the left trigger," I say, trying to hold back the frustration. "Remember, push the left trigger to go back."

I end up having to put my controller down, get her out, hand her the controller, pick up mine and start driving again before she says;

"Dad, how do I get out?"

This takes place several times during a single game. Once things actually get going, she then says;

"Ha, ha, Dad. You crash, and I keep going."

When she has an accident I say nothing, but when it's me, THE TAUNTING BEGINS!!!

"Ha, ha, Dad. You crash, and I keep going."

"Uh hmmm..." I respond quietly.

Crashes are inevitable in Burnout, so moments later, it happens again.

"Ha, ha Dad. You crash, and I keep going."

ARGH!!! I won't say anything though. Nooooooo. Instead, I do the gooooood Dad thing, and stay quiet. It would be really BAAAAD to taunt back. It doesn't matter that I win EVERY SINGLE RACE!!! Well, almost every one... but still. One of these days it's just gonna' come out!

"Ha, ha!!! You crash and I WIN!!! YEAH, I WON! THE RACE IS OVER, BECAUSE I WON!!! IN YOUR FACE LITTLE GIRL!!!"

Well, that's what I want to say. You understand, right???

Now all my friends on Xbox Live can know that when they see me playing Burnout in the early evening, that's what's going down.

Riding The Rollercoaster

2007-12-04T11:46:00.001-07:00

Blah. I'm in a bit of a funk right now. I continue to do comedy, and have pretty good shows, but I've gotten into one of those phases where I'm not really sure why I keep doing it. I have a tough time writing lately, and I don't really have the means to ever try and go full-time. I'm also not sure that I'd want to. This will probably change though. I get in these moods for weeks or months at a time, and then something happens to get me excited about comedy again. I think it's just part of the game... an after-effect of stand up being so hard, or something. There are a few small things that keep me going though.

This is one of them.

It's one of the first videos I ever put on YouTube, and it still gets hundreds of hits every week. I'm not sure why. I actually cringe watching it because I think I've gotten better since then. Still for the most part, people seem to like it. It's nice when people you don't know say encouraging things. There are some negative comments too, but it's nice to see that other people usually give those a "thumbs down." Silly I know, but it's one of the things I look at sometimes when I think about quitting.

Whatchoo Got???

2007-11-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

"Use what you got, right???"

The manager of a comedy club said this to me as we were discussing another comedian. I can't remember who we were talking about. I only recall the statement. I've heard the line many times, but I think I realized more of what it really means that night than I had before.

Over time, comedians develop their act. It takes a shape, forms a character, and hopefully becomes something unique. However, we seem to have only a little control over how that comes together. That stage persona comes from our own experiences and personality. Very few people successfully create a contrived imaginary character and make it work. Developing a comedy act is kind of like finding yourself... only more painful and more time-consuming.

This train of thought led me to question whether I'm headed in the right direction. For now the answer is, "I'm not sure." I'm also not sure of where I'd want things to go if I had the creative ability to choose that.

I had two shows Saturday. Both went pretty well. The first show was certainly above average for me. Still each time, I found myself part way through my act saying to myself...

"Oh dear, here comes another Asian joke."

Luckily, I didn't say that out loud. That would have been embarrassing.

The Asian stuff works best though. I continue to write more Half-Asian material, because that's what consistently gets the best reaction. I suppose if I continue along that path, my act will eventually consist of nothing but Half-Asian comedy. Some people have told me that that is exactly what I should do, but sheesh... what if I get tired of telling Asian jokes???

This is probably just a phase. I usually don't have such a problem with my own material. I'ts just hard to try and figure out where things should be going. I don't want to get seven years down the line and discover that "what I got" ain't what people want.

Spare Time

2007-11-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

That's right people. Two posts in one day.

Sometimes when I have extra time at work, I read Wikipedia. I know it's just an online encyclopedia, but random facts can be fascinating. For example, I now know that the band Maroon 5 was originally a grunge band called Kara's Flowers. I also learned that John Mayer became inspired to play the guitar as a kid after watching Marty McFly play some tunes in the movie Back To The Future. Apparently, Mayer also dabbles in stand up comedy. And according to some people, he's not very good at it. That's cool John. I dabble in playing the guitar and singing. I'm sure there's a video on YouTube. Not of me signing, but of Mayer telling jokes. Actually, there might be a video of me signing too. What isn't on YouTube?

Sometimes when I have extra time at work, I also write comedy bits. Some are funny. The vast majority are not. It's just a part of the process.

"People in Salt Lake City are serious about crosswalks. If you don't stop right away, they give you dirty looks. It's like they have crosswalk rage. In fact, the other day a pedestrian got soooo mad, there was a walk-by shooting."

The other week, I was so proud that I wrote two bits in one day. I subsequently tried them both on stage, and was instantly not so proud. They both sucked.

Sometimes when I have extra time at work, I also blog.

Maybe I'm Just Really Lucky

2007-11-06T16:27:00.001-07:00

I dunno' what it is, but I keep winning free stuff. I say it's all thanks to the internet. There's just so many sites out there holding obscure contests that essentially leave the goods up for the taking.

This time, I won a SlingBox. It just came in the mail yesterday. It's a device that lets you watch your TV channels(works really well if you have cable or DirecTV) on anything that you can access the internet from. You can watch on a computer, a cellphone, blackberry, or laptop, for example. It's a pretty cool little invention, but since we don't watch a whole lot of TV and we don't have cable, I'm selling it on eBay. That means I just won free cash.

This one was pretty easy. The nice folks a SlingBox were holding an online contest. They asked comedians to come up with funny routines about the SlingBox, put them on tape, and upload the video to their site. They said right up front that the first 50 contestants would get a free SlingBox just for entering. Pretty simple, but they still ended up with less than 50 entries. Like I said, this one was just out there for the taking.

Geez. This post sounds kinda' like an infomercial. But hey, it works. I'm already working on a couple other contests right now. Don't ask me where though. Less competition equals better odds.

For a tally of the recent stuff I've won so far, go to this post.

Don't Judge Me By My ipod

2007-10-18T19:53:00.001-06:00

It seems that my choice in music is making me look a bit "girly." I use my ipod everywhere instead of the radio. At work I use it while driving from story to story and during the commute. If I have a female reporter or field-producer in the car, I usually hear something like.

"Hey! You have good taste in music. This is a great song!"

On the other hand, having a guy in the car with me sometimes gets me berated, leaving me feeling embarrassed about my ipod playlists. I mean, does the simple fact that I like Maroon 5 make me gay?

Maybe I'll have to make a "manly" playlist. I'll put all of my hardest rock songs in there, starting with U2.

Try The Voicemail...

2007-10-17T13:08:00.000-06:00

The following experience occurred in a Men's room.

I was washing my hands. Someone was standing in the stall urinating. The sound of liquid splashing in the toilet bowl was loud and distinct. The sound remained constant as I heard a cellphone ring from the same stall, and then...

"Hello! This is _____." He proceeded to carry on a conversation over the echoing stream.

Wow.

I refuse to answer my phone in the restroom because I don't want people to hear MY VOICE echo. I can't even imagine trying to ignore, or explain the sound of water hitting water to someone. Some people lead busy lives though, and I guess some phone calls just can't wait.

New Video

2007-10-09T15:02:00.000-06:00

Hey folks. Not much to blog about today. Just thought I'd post this new video I uploaded to YouTube. It's from the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off. There's some newer stuff in there, and some improvements to older bits.

No Posts???

2007-10-04T11:22:00.000-06:00

It has been brought to my attention that some people think if I'm not blogging, I must not be doing any stand up comedy gigs. This is not true. I continue to do standup on a regular basis. The truth is, I'm not blogging as much anymore because I'm lazy.

I keep telling myself that I'll blog again with some near-daily regularity, but instead I tend to find other things to do with what would be my "blogging time."

A Vacation To The Past

2007-09-21T16:42:00.000-06:00

The family and I just got back from our big vacation in South Dakota. Don't be jealous people! I know everyone wants to go there, but only high-paid comedian/photographers like me can afford such a luxury. Kidding aside, the Black Hills area of the state is actually a pretty big tourist draw. Aside from Mount Rushmore, there are a number of attractions there. That side of the state is also beautiful during the summer and early fall months.

We however, had one more reason for making that eleven to twelve hour drive. Keli and I got our first TV reporter jobs there right out of college about eight years ago. In many respects Rapid City, South Dakota is where we started our lives as a married couple. Our trip was filled with bouts of beauty and nostalgia. It was also nice to share our past with our kids, even if they're really too young to understand.

As we drove through the region, memories flooded back in.

"I remember doing a story right there," I would say. "Second house in."

I couldn't always recall what the story was, but I could remember being there. Keli made several similar comments. Years ago, both of us were eager to make a career move and leave. I guess the time and distance made those memories all seem more happy.

For a moment, I wondered if we had made a mistake by planning a vacation in an area that was familiar. I mean, don't most people spend that time and money seeing things and places they've never seen before? This trip however helped us look at things differently, and in the end that was priceless. We spent our time as tourists in a place where we once lived. Things that we took for granted were now beautiful. Besides, who doesn't want to see Mount Rushmore?

It was hard for both of us to remember what life in Rapid City was like for us back then. Still in many ways, the area looked exactly the way we remembered it. We made a stop by the old TV station. A few old friends are still there. Visiting them brought back the good times we had there. For a moment at least, it was hard to think of the things we didn't like.

This post may sound cheesy, or fluffy, but the four of us had a great time. Not only did we bond as a family, but we got a good look at where we started. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of the past. It makes us greatful for the experiences we had and the lessons we learned. As we pulled away from The Black Hills, Keli looked over at me and said something like,

"That was fun. We'll have to come back in another six years."

Is it any surprise that we're thinking of making a trip back to Northeast Florida?

Here's some pics I took on the trip.
One of the best things about the vacation is that my wife let me play with her expensive camera...

Laugh Off Finals

2007-09-11T15:42:00.000-06:00

Once again, the finals in Wendover ended the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off on a very low note. It's just not a great place to do a comedy show. The stage is at the end of the casino. From where the crowd sits, you can hear the sound of slot machines and cheesy 80's music in the background. The stage is way in the back, and ON TOP of the bar, putting you far away from the audience. There are also several televisions on each side of the stage that were left on during the entire show. I was up third, and as I performed my set, there were maybe 20 something people watching. The front row was the bar, where some people were drinking and playing video poker while listening to the show. People laughed, which I guess is the most I could ask for out of this gig. The reaction however, just didn't seem very loud with the 20-some people spread out accross the rather large room.

I think some comics gave up on their sets due to the conditions. One other guy intentionally sabotauged his set, putting in some off-color lines, just to gain self-entertianment from the crowd's reactions. While the final scores were being tabulated, two of the comedians went back on stage to more or less goof-off. Calling themseleves "The Finklestein Brothers: the nation's oldest comics," they rolled onto stage in wheelchairs, and sloppily improvised masking-tape-mustaches and eyebrows. It was silly. I know at least myself and the other comics got a good laugh out of it. They did their best to look "really old" while ranting off silly one-liners, like,

"You kids have those i-pods. If they had those back in my day, they'd have been called OY-pods!!!." Maybe you just had to be there.

As I write this blog, I'm still not sure how I ranked up in the end of the competition. Only the top 4 were announced at the end. We were promised the rest of the rankings through e-mail by Monday morning, but as I write this post I still don't have them. As you may gather I was not in the top 4, and did not win any money, but I still feel I came away with a lot. Aside from giving what much stronger performances than last year, I also feel that I:

1) Improved my overall delivery.
2) Wrote/polished some new material.
3) Came closer to honing in on my "comedic voice."

Hey, those lessons learned are more important than the money, right?

Until I get more info, here's the top four winners.

1. Marcus
2. Jeff Dye
3. Tim Babb
4. Todd Johnson

Rocky Mountain Laugh Off - Day Four

2007-09-09T00:29:00.000-06:00

Tonight was a bit rough for me. I'm not sure why. Even though we get 10 minutes a piece, I decided to do short eight minute sets at both shows, thinking that keeping it tighter would make my performance overall stronger. For whatever reason, I think that made things worse. I didn't place in the top three at either show. It's like I did better when I was taking risks, and lost ground in trying to "play it safe." I also always do my best when I'm nervous and filled with fear. It pushes me to focus. Tonight, I didn't have the fear. I was way too comfortable.

On another note, people keep dropping out of the competition. We started with 16 total, but we're now down to 12. The finals are in Wendover, Nevada tomorrow night. I think at this point I've lost any chances of getting a cash prize, but maybe I can at least make the best out of what's left.

Rocky Mountain Laugh Off - Day Three

2007-09-08T00:45:00.001-06:00

I'm really, really tired right now, so I'm going to keep this one short. The group of sixteen comedians was split in half today; eight at Wiseguys in Ogden, the other eight(including me) at the West Valley location. One guy however, dropped out of the competition, so my half is now down to seven.

Again I'm very happy with how much I feel I'm learning this year. Even though I haven't necessarily placed where I wanted to, I've been happy with pretty much every show. I also took a couple of risks. Wednesday night, I put some brand new, untested material into my set. Tonight, I did it again. I don't know what the heck I was thinking, but on both occasions I think it paid off. Here's how I ranked up for the two shows tonight:

8pm: Tie for second
10pm: Tie for third

We're headed up to Ogden Saturday!

Laugh Off Schedule

2007-09-07T09:37:00.000-06:00

Forgot to post this. I put the show dates on my myspace page, but not here. Anyway, here's where I'll be for the remainder of the competition.

Friday(tonight) 8pm, 10pm Wiseguys West Valley
Saturday 8pm 10pm Wiseguys Ogden
Sunday Finals in Wendover.

Rocky Mountain Laugh Off - Day Two

2007-09-06T23:29:00.000-06:00

"I wanna' see Marcus!"

The kid looked maybe ten years old. It isn't easy for adults to sit through sixteen comedians each performing seven minutes of material. Apparently, it's even rougher on kids. I felt sorry for the comic on stage as his act was interrupted by the high-pitched, squeal-like demand for another comedian. What do you do? You can't bite back with a snappy insult. Nobody gets heckled by kids. Nobody prepares comebacks for kid hecklers.

There are a few "no age limit" comedy clubs in this country. Three of them are here in Utah. I've always believed that live stand up comedy should be for the "21 and over" crowd. Still, I have seen some people successfully bring their pre-teen kids to the club. This wasn't one of those times.

"Is this kid gonna' heckle the whole show?" I wondered. Seconds later, I got my answer as the mother carried her son outside. One arm was scooped under his legs. The other, firmly cupping his mouth to avoid more awkward outbursts. I felt bad for her.

Aside from that, the second night of competition was rather mellow. The crowd was small, and consistently reserved. I overall felt good about my set. It felt like I grew, and that I had made some improvements in the strength of my delivery. For that reason, I can't really be upset about tonight. That's one good thing about competition; it forces you to focus and polish your act. That's something I should be doing year round.

I did come away with both good and bad news though. My ranking for tonight's show was sixth place. Blah. However, after a re-tabulation of last night's score, it turns out I tied for third yesterday instead of fourth. Yay! Rankings from each show will be added up in the end, and the comic with the lowest total wins.

Rocky Mountain Laugh Off - Day One

2007-09-06T15:18:00.000-06:00

"Never quit your day job."

An overweight, middle-aged woman said this to me as she walked out of the Tooele bar. She grabbed my arm, gave a friendly smile, and softly said the words. The way she presented the insult was confusing, almost like she wanted to be very friendly in expressing her strong dislike for me. Moments before, I had what was one of my best performances in a long time. Judging from the number of applause-breaks, I felt that I could not have asked for more. To say the least, this comment was confusing.

It didn't look like an easy room. As the emcee stepped on stage, his words instantly blared accross the room. The bass in the sound system, coupled with empty, echo-producing acoustics made every sentence sound muddled. Another comic leaned over to me.

"That mic is really loud." He said.

I sighed. "Yeah it is."

This only added to the stress I usually feel before a show. As my eyes scanned the room, I could see that the crowd was a bit older... from the 30's up to 60's age range. During the emcee's set, a slight rumble of people talking amongst themselves could be heard between words. As each punchline was delivered, there were bursts of laughter erupting from the muddled conversations. It's like the audience was multi-tasking. My anxiety grew as I realized it would be a challenge to capture and keep their attention.

Todd Johnson was up first. He's a regular headliner at Wiseguys, and more experienced than most of the other 16 competitors. With what looked like little effort, he pulled off a killer set, keeping the laughs rolling until the end of the seven minute time limit. The show was off to a good start, but from there it was touch and go. That didn't help calm my nerves. I was number six in the lineup. Watching each of the comedians before me was excruciating, because I wanted more than anything to get it over with.

As I finally stepped on stage, I took a moment to look at the crowd, and let the nervousness go. I spoke slowly and deliberately to compensate for the bad sound system. During the set up of my first bit, a wave of laughter came accross the room. As I delivered the punchline, the response was even louder and within the first 20 seconds of my set, I had my first applause break. Suddenly, I found myself in "the zone." For the rest of my set, the delivery, laughs, and applause couldn't have gone better if I had scripted it. I can only hope things go this well the rest of the competition.

After the show, they tallied up the judging forms, and announced the rankings so far. I'm tied for fourth place!

So, if things went much better than I expected, why would one woman feel the need to give me some career advice? I don't know, but it doesn't really matter. One thing I've learned in this business is that if you want to have any originality, you have to be okay with the fact that some people will hate you. Comedians who try to please everyone usually fade into the crowd.

The first night of competition is over. Six more shows to go.

Sometimes I Live At Work

2007-08-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

In my relatively short seven years in the news business, this summer has easily been the busiest. On top of doing four overnight trips to cover fires around the state, I've now just come back from a three-day, two-night trip to the tiny town of Huntington. The story has been all over the national news so you may already know that six miners became trapped in a coal mine near there on Monday. Since then rescuers have been trying to get to them, hoping that they're still alive. If you want more details and facts, try google, or your favorite news source. I always try to stay away from making this a news blog, or posting too much information about work.

While it is interesting to cover such major events, it is also exhausting. The days are long and relentless. This story has also attracted literally dozens of media organizations, so as you can imagine we have to compete with a rather large crowd of reporters and photographers at each event. Getting a simple interview is no longer easy. On a several occaisions I found myself having to stand my ground to keep a good shot, only to have two other photographers pushed up against my body, with the heat of body-odor coming in from both sides. Yuck. Why can't we all do our thing while maintaining a little personal space???

It is nice to be back home for now, although I expect to be sent out there again next week. The overtime's gonna look nice when the paycheck comes in.

Our Beautiful Disaster

2007-08-06T21:53:00.000-06:00

"Happy Anniversary Celebration Day!" I said to my wife as I greeted her early Saturday morning. The day was just starting, but we were looking forward to an evening without the kids, and dinner at a nice French restaurant in Salt Lake City.

We set out in the morning to do a little shopping, and spend some time with the kids. It really isn't that often that we get a Saturday together. However later in the afternoon a really, really bad headache made me kinda cranky and very tired. Our 18 month-old Kate and I went home for a nap while Keli and Syd went out again. A couple of hours later I woke up, and got a phone call.

"What I have to say isn't good." Keli started. She sounded distressed.

She then explained that while out shopping again, our only key to the car somehow fell out of her pants and was lost. It's one of those dang electronic keys with an anti-theft-device-thingy, but all they really do is make car owners really mad and curse when the lose their keys! As you can see in the picture below, ours is really easy to lose...
The dang thing won't stay on a key ring!!! After our pleasant phone conversation, Keli frantically looked around the store some more while I made some calls to see what it would take to get another one. After quite a bit of legwork, I found one Locksmith available who said the job would cost about 350 bucks!!! That stupid chip in the key just became a make-the-locksmith-a-lotta'-freakin'-money-device!!! Who buys a key for nearly 400 dollars?! Our other option was to have AAA tow the car to a dealer who could make a new key on Monday. We decided to do nothing and wait. Since it was getting late in the day, we also had to cancel the babysitter and our dinner reservations. What else could go wrong?

Later, in a somewhat lucky, and at the same time tragic turn of events, the key magically "popped" out of Keli's pants. It's like it was mocking us. Somehow it had fallen into the cuff of her jeans and decided to promptly re-appear after ruining our plans for the night.

@#$!

After eating some Mexican takeout for dinner, we picked up the car from the Department Store and made a drive to the Bountiful Temple. As you may guess, Keli and I were married there nine years ago. As if by some coincidence, our timing was just right to catch a beautiful red sunset. Keli took a few pictures. We walked around the grounds and reminisced. Within a few minutes it seemed, our disastrous day had been redeemed. As the sun went down we started to head home. It was past bedtime for the kids.

Just as I started the car, our song came on the radio. For the next few moments, things seemed perfect. Then the song ended, our kids became cranky, and we drove home with grunting and whining sounds coming from the back seat. In about an hour's time, we saw where our marriage started, and what nine years had made. They can't all be happy moments, but I guess that's okay.

Argh!

2007-07-16T14:27:00.001-06:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while. If you want to know what I've been up to, look at my previous post and add on two more days just like that. It's been busy out heeyah. My paycheck will be nice though.

Mondays Are Bad

2007-07-04T15:54:00.000-06:00

Why does Monday always seem to hit like a ton of bricks? I had a feeling this one would be rough after the Neola North fire grew to more than 30,000 acres. As I arrived for work at 10:30am, I was accosted by the assignment desk.

"We're making plans to staff the Neola fire," the managing editor started. "How much will you be able to help out?" It went something like that.

"Well, I could use the overtime," I responded. "So I think I can do whatever you need me to."

Eventually I started the nearly 3-hour drive to Neola with the plan in mind that I'd work through the 10pm newscast, rounding out a 12-hour day. However, I had a feeling that wouldn't be all. Thanks to a missed freeway exit on my part, I arrived at the firefighters' base camp a bit late, at around 3:50pm. Just ten minutes before the 4pm news, and just in time to frantically run around, trying to help troubleshoot some technical issues for live shots. Afterwards, it was time to edit stories, and shoot more live shots for the 5 and 6pm news.

At some point I got a phone call from the assignment desk.

"Hey, can you stay through the noon news tomorrow?"

That's exactly what I thought would happen. No problem though. The overtime pay is nice. Luckly, I always keep an overnight bag with me just in case.

After the 6pm news, it was time to shoot a story for the late news, then edit, then do some more live shots for the 9 and 10pm news. I do believe I also scarfed down some dinner in the middle of all that. At 10:30pm, the reporter and field producer started planning for the next morning. By eleven, we were off to the hotel in Roosevelt, just ten minutes away to get a few hours of sleep.

Tuesday hit like a ton of bricks too. I woke up at 4:30am, threw on some clothes, and met up with the reporter. We picked up some donuts and drinks at a gas station, and then headed back to the base camp. There was little time to relax there either. I swear we just barely got things set up in time for the first live shot at 5:30am. From there, it was a blur of editing, and shooting live shots, and eating donuts while drinking Coke. Is it ever too early for Coke? I say no.

By 7:45am, we were done with the morning show. I think I ate something like four donuts. Meals on the road usually turn out bad for me. I had a little bit of time to rest while we planned for the noon news. Long story short, we spent the next few hours shooting and editing the noon story. I then learned I needed to head out again to go with the Forest Service for a media tour of some of the fire area.

I'm leaving some details out, because this post is already feeling a bit long-winded. We eventually got back on the road back to Salt Lake City at around 1:30pm. My day ended as I got back home just before 6pm. I was dead tired, and it was only Tuesday. Today, I'm still tired, and I think my body decided to reject the junk food I ate. I'm sure I'll appreciate this more once the paycheck comes in.

Rants From My Notebook

2007-06-29T23:51:00.000-06:00

Since my life is too boring to write about lately, I'm gonna post two rants from my comedy notebook. I plan on turning both of these into new material this weekend. Hopefully it will actually be "funny" material.

Rant #1:
Does it seem at all ironic that the American Idol Tour is sponsored by Pop Tarts? Could they make that sponsorship choice any worse?

Maybe, The Ruben Studdard tour, sponsored by, Weight Watchers! Or, coming soon to your hometown, the Clay Aiken tour, sponsored by Juicy Fruit!

Rant #2
People today are going wacky over the new iPhone. It's crazy! You can do everything with it! Things like;

-make phone calls
-text message
-surf the net
-check your e-mail
-watch videos
-listen to music

My cellphone is not as cool. It just makes phone calls. When I want to do all that other stuff, I just go home. Home is crazy! You can do everything there! I call it iHome.

Summer Fun Day

2007-06-17T00:36:00.001-06:00

The other day we took the kids out to the local water park. It would have been real nice, except my neurosis kept me from having a fun time. As I stepped into the "kiddie" area with my almost four-year-old daughter Sydni, the paranoid thoughts started to trickle in.

"Oh my gosh, I wonder if she's peed in the water yet. I wonder if she's peed in the water yet. I wonder if she's peed in the water yet. I wonder if she's...

...Oh no look at all these kids, I wonder if they've... Oh crap! This is sooo disgusting, I can't belive I'm standing in this pee water. How long before we leave?"

I did eventually have some fun, but my mind kept going back to the whole "it's kinda like swimming in a toilet" line of thinking. Keli even got me to go on one of the fast water slides. I stepped in gum barefoot while waiting in line. I also felt kind of stupid standing in line alone, without any kids. I tried my hardest not to look like a creepy old guy.

More On That Live News Stuff

2007-06-11T12:38:00.000-06:00

The live feature stuff on Channel 2 on Friday seemed to go well. Looking back at the tape, I liked the first hour, but felt my energy noticeably dropped in the second hour. Hey, it's just not easy looking happy that freakin' early in the morning! Anyway, the video posted below is most of the stuff from the 6am hour. It looks like I will get the chance to do it again. Maybe even later this week.

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I'm A Winner

2007-06-11T11:35:00.000-06:00

For those who don't know, I've been on a recent winning streak when it comes to getting free stuff from sweepstakes and contests. Last night, I just learned that I won a HD-DVD player along with The Matrix Trilogy on HD-DVD from Major Nelson's Xbox podcast. Now I'm left in a bit of a dilemma. I know this is a good problem to have, but I can't decide whether I'm gonna' keep the prizes or sell them on ebay. The idea of having a device to watch movies in HD quality on seems great, but the problem is the HD format war is far from over. Right now, if I had to guess, I'd say Sony's Blu-Ray will eventually win. Years down the line, that could leave me with a useless piece of equipment. Oh, and did I mention that we don't even own an HDTV? Anyway, if you have some advice for me, feel free to leave it in the comments section below.

By the way, here's a list of the free stuff I've won so far:

1. HD-DVD player and Matrix Trilogy mentioned above
2. Sony Camcorder/Digital camera combo
3. 30 Gb Video iPod
4. All expense paid trip to the Aspen Comedy Festival with a performing spot
5. iPod case and invisible-shield

Time to enter some more contests! The thing I've found is that it helps to find contests that require something unique that you're at least reasonably good at. For example, if you're good at writing, enter some essay contests. Two of the prizes I won were from online standup comedy competitions. Another was a video-editing contest. I've tried dozens upon dozens of those online drawings where you just enter your e-mail address and got nothing.

Back On TV...

2007-06-07T18:06:00.000-06:00

...At least for one day. Channel 2's wacky morning feature reporter left a couple of weeks ago, and since then several random people have been filling in the spot. Somehow, my local stand up comedy work got a couple of people at the station(I'm still not sure who) to recommend me for some of that AM live shot fill-in action. Apparently, my past six plus years reporting experience did not come in to play here. Anyway, I was approached about it and eagerly accepted. I've never tried to mix reporting with comedy, so this will be something new. Hopefully, it will actually go well. It's been about a year and a half since I was last on TV as a reporter.

All the live-shot craziness commences early tomorrow. I'll be at the Scottish Highland Festival, doing multiple reports between 6am and 8am on KUTV, Utah's Channel 2.

Showcase Info

2007-06-02T10:41:00.000-06:00

Not much to post about right now, but just thought put some info up on one thing. For all uh, two of you who have been trying to watch the Aspen showcase on Comcast VOD, it's apparently listed under "Cutting Edge" and then "Ziddio" the actual program is called "Accidentally Famous." Could they make it any harder to find??? No one's gonna watch that thing unless they're specifically looking for it with that information.

I wasn't all that impressed with the production anyway. Sound quality was bad, the camera angles were um, okay, and to be honest it wasn't by any means my best performance. All the previous stuff may be just me being a TV snob tough, seeing as I work by day for a TV station.

Wow! I Blogged TWICE Today!!!

2007-05-30T14:55:00.000-06:00

It's important to think before you speak.

I was driving on the highway towards Salt Lake City with someone who will remain anonymous. Before I go on, I should mention that just north of the city are a few oil refineries where they occaisaionally uh... burn stuff. They burn stuff from really high smokestack like things, and well, flames come out. This will all make more sense in a moment. Back to the story...

As we came southbound, closer to the city, my passenger pointed out towards the road.

"Is that there because Salt Lake City hosted the Olympics?"

"Uh..." I replied hesitantly. "You're kidding right?"

"No... is that like a big torch?"

"Uhhhm... no..." I tried soften the blow as much as possible. "That's an oil refinery."

Awkward silence.

Maybe it should be a big torch though. I mean, if these oil refineries have to be there, why not make them more pleasing to look at. They could build a torch around the whole smokestack/flamey thing. It would build local olympic pride. People living next to the refinery would think:

"Hey! I am so proud to live right next to the Olympic torch factory."

That would be cool. Instead, it's just a stack of burning oil. That doesn't build pride. It just makes people ask dumb questions.

It's True... I'm Blogging Again

2007-05-30T14:33:00.000-06:00

Crap.

I have a blog.

Maintaining a blog requires making regular posts.

A blog is kind of like a journal. One of these days, I'll look back at May 2007, as the month when I was apparently in a coma, and unable to post blogs. Where did my life go wrong? Today, I think I'll commit to post regularly again... at least until laziness sets in.

I'm still doing the comedy thing, although I must admit that goes on with some frustration. I've spent the last several weeks thinking and re-thinking the advice I got in Aspen. At times, I felt like I was at a bit of a crossroads in my comedy career; either make a change, or get out. Realistically, I think that was just me being a bit neurotic. Still, I tried changing my delivery in at least a few different ways. Leading up to Aspen, I had been working on simply pushing the energy and being less dry. The other week, I decided to try and be as dry as possible. What I think I learned in the end is that both felt very fake. The audience probably picked up on that too. Finally, I decided to throw all that crap out. I decided to go up on stage, relax, and do what comes naturally. It was me, being my usual somewhat dry, somewhat monotoned self, but something clicked that I hadn't seen for a while. There was more lingering laughter. I was better able to interact with the crowd. To top it all off, some random dude gave me a high-five as I walked off stage.

In the end, I think I was just overthinking things too much. Maybe it's just best to be myself. I know this all may seem a bit trite to a lot of people, but this is basically the craziness that goes through my head. Stand up comedy is a very subjective thing, and A LOT of people give unsolicited advice. Mainly, I get told either bring the energy way up, or to be really, really dry. With opposites like that, what the heck am I supposed to listen to? Now I know why so many comedians say &%$! advice!!! In Aspen, they told me to work on a characther. For now, that character is me.

What (Just About)Every Comedian Thinks

2007-04-17T11:23:00.000-06:00

"So I've been thinking about quitting comedy..."

When I first started the stand-up thing, I heard people more experienced than me say that all the time. I still hear it. Often I hear it several times from the same people. The difference is now I understand it. Succeeding in this business takes a kind of undying tenacity and willingness to sacrifice that I'm not always sure I have. Almost every week, I get to meet headliners who are amazing at what they do, but still haven't had that big break. Realistically, most of them never will. Instead, they live out their careers on the road, spending little time at home. It's not easy. Many are happy to do what they love, but many others are bitter.

I recently took a couple of weeks off of comedy. I did this in part to spend time with the family, and simply because I had other things going on. It was nice. It made it tough to go back to the club the following Friday and Saturday nights when I wanted to be at home. For the first time, I found myself seriously asking myself if I should continue to do the part-time comedy thing. I even started second guessing my act and material, thinking, "It's not that good, and it won't get much better."

As anyone who's spent a decent amount of time as a comedian will tell you, this business has a way of playing with your emotions. Or, maybe it's just a side-affect from the fact that all comedians are somehow screwed up mentally. Either way, there's a ton of ups and downs. Before Saturday's show, I had sort of told God that I was ready to quit comedy if it's what was necessary. I was down on myself. Ironically, I ended up having the best show I can remember. I can't take the credit for this one either. The audience at the 8pm show was just ready to laugh. They were such a good crowd that they the lingering laughter threw off my timing. For ten short minutes, I once again had that euphoric feeling inside of small-time stardom. I felt like a comedian. Call it a sign or an answer to my prayer, either way it seems, the dream is back on.

In a week or two, I'll think about quitting again.

Wow

2007-04-06T08:40:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged in a really long time!!!

Learning From Harsh Critique

2007-03-13T19:56:00.000-06:00

I've been working hard to apply the things I learned in Aspen. The biggest lesson I've taken from the trip is that each piece of material that I deliver MUST be character driven. So much in this business hangs on attitudes and personality rather than the actual material. When I dissect my act, the bits that consistently work the best are the Half-Asian material. Those are also the bits that are most personal. Some, even reflect somewhat painful parts of my life that I've turned into humor. This kind of reminded me of something someone had told me years ago that I'd forgotten... people like to laugh others' misfortunes, and that as stand up comics, we should dig deep into those sometimes personal life experiences. It's almost like the more painful it was... the more funny it will be. In addition, I now know how important it is to develop my stage presence and persona. Stepping back on stage for the first time since Aspen, I felt like I was on fire Saturday night. Here's the video clip...

I felt pretty good about that set, except for the excessive bouncing back and forth and unnecessary pacing around. Watching that afterwards drove me crazy. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going. It felt like I improved more in the week since I got back than in the whole past year.

Yay for me.

I'm A Celebrity!

2007-03-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

...Well, not really, but take a look at this link. It's a bunch of press-type pictures that were taken at the showcase in aspen. They're really nice. AND if you look at the left side of the page, they have special sections for "celebrities" from the show... and because of some unknown mistake, I'm listed in that section. If you click on that link, you can see pictures of just me... which is really what everyone wants.

The Big Show

2007-03-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Wow. What a long day yesterday was. Get up early, rehearse, wait, rehearse, wait, reahearse again, and then wait, wait, wait. Here's a picture of me rehearsing...

Anyway, what can I say about the big show??? It was a surreal, and yet strange experience. I spent the last two weeks stressing over whether I should use a particular joke in my set. In the end, I decided to take a risk and use it... and that ended up being the low point of my performance. DANG IT!!! It was the second joke in. After that one, I started in to my Half-Asian stuff, which all hit really well. Unfortunately, the judges' comments weren't exactly what I wanted to hear. Here's a brief synopsis of what I can remember.

"If you're gonna' be introduced as the "Half-Asian" comic, I wanna' hear your Half-Asian stuff right away."

"I think we started to get you about half way through."(referring to the point when I started doing the Asian Stuff).

"I think you definitely have the best writing so far... the funniest jokes... you just need to choose your personality to deliver it."

...and then something about having potential and don't quit.

Crap. I pondered several times just doing the "Asian" material, but opted to show my versatility. I think what I've learned from this though, is that the people that matter are looking for you to focus on the one thing that sets you apart. Does that mean I can only do "Half-Asian" material from now on??? I dunno...

For what it's worth... Keli said she saw the judges laughing... and they didn't laugh at everyone. However, from what I heard, it feels like they were the roughest on me critique wise.

HBO did throw us an exclusive party after the big show. This got started at something like 1am. It was kinda' cool, but at the same time... I wasn't all that into it. Bowling For Soup played a few songs, which was cool... kinda like a private concert.

And here's me with a couple of the other comedians...

Oh, and Keli got a picture with Josh Blue...

It was all in all a good experience. I'm still trying to digest the whole thing. I'm still not sure what to think, but I suppose I'm still better off than I would have been had I not won this opportunity.

Aspen Day Two Revelations

2007-03-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

I must have been beat yesterday, because I slept straight through the night until about 9:30 this morning. I was awoken by a persistent knocking sound. Not just a few knocks, but more like 20 very obnoxious knocks in a row. I jumped out of bed and aswered the door, still half asleep.

"Hwaaaahh????" I said as I greeted the lady.

"I come clean." The woman stated in broken english. I don't think she wanted to confess to me, I think she actually wanted to come inside and clean.

I tried my best to put a clear thought into words, but only succeeded in being more difficult to understand than the lady who could barely speak English.

"I will leave, in hwaaaah... Um... Later, you." It went something like that.

The lady then said something loud, but still inaudible and walked away. I guess that meant that she'd come back later. I went back to bed for about a half an hour. I finally left my room at around 10:30am to see that Aspen has a lot of freaking snow.

Much to my dismay 10:30am was too late to take advantage of the free breakfast buffet voucher I had been given. Instead, I decided to catch the shuttle into town. I braved the cold and snow as much as I could, and then decided to head to The Belly Up early for rehearsals.

I walked inside to see production folks setting up cameras, sound and lights for the big show...

Once the whole group of contestants arrived, we staged a little walk-in of the Belly Up for the camera crew.

Some time later, we all got a tour of the venue and then some news that made me crap my pants. With cameras rolling, probably to catch some reality-show type drama, the producer announced that not all of us would be performing in the showcase. Yikes! She started down the list of who would perform in the order of the show's lineup. I wanted badly for my name to come up first just to end the anxiety, but name after name, she breezed down the list until finally... I was announced as number five. What a relief. Those not performing are doing some "field segments" for the televised show.

We also later learned that there will be a panel of four judges who will critique each comic's performance. Crap. I don't mind getting some constructive criticism, even if it's brutal... but not in front of a crowd.

We then broke for lunch, and then did a run-through of the show. We each had to do part of our acts in front of each other in the lunchroom, which was to say the least... a bit awkward. Finally, we each did some quick interview segments in front of the camera, and we were done... many of us left feeling stressed out for the next day.

After rushing back to the hotel for dinner, we all hopped the shuttle back in to town for a show at the festival. HBO was nice enough to give us tickets for the show featuring, Michael Showalter, John Oliver, and Mary Lynn Rajskub of 24 fame. However another comic and I decided to leave early to have time to practice and prepare for the big day. More news tomorrow. But before I go... let me leave you with this...

Aspen Day One

2007-02-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

The trip to Aspen was a bit rough. My morning started at 6:15 when the family and I got up to take me to the airport. I ended up breezing through the lines and sat around for something like two hours.

After a short plane ride to Denver, I met up with some of the Comcast folks, and the other winning contestants. Once everyone was there, we all hopped on what would be the Charter bus ride from Hell. Don't get me wrong... the bus and the driver were both great. It was the weather that made things long... really long.

Our bus epic began around 1pm. The journey was smooth at first, until we started to hit the mountains, and LOTS of snow. This is where we made stop number one, so that the driver and some helpful comedians could put chains on the bus tires. Later on, there were a couple of other brief stops so the driver could chip the ice off of the wiper blades. However our biggest hitch was a huge traffic backup from some accident. We were moving at a crawl for something like an hour. We finally arrived at the hotel in Aspen just after 7pm. I'm told this would normally be a four hour drive.

All complaining aside though, winning this opportunity is really looking like a sweet deal. My hotel room is seriously freaking nice... beyond what I expected. Take a look...

...the pictures don't really do it justice.

We also get vouchers for meals throughout the stay. For each dinner, it's fifty bucks at the really nice restaurant inside the hotel. Tonight, I had some tasty steak and sorbet for dessert.

Oh, and the altitude here is getting to me. I've been very light-headed, and I've had a headache for the past few hours. I'm told they keep oxygen tanks backstage for the comedians for that very reason... no kidding!

More updates to come. I plan on posting every day from here. We start rehearsals for the big show, and taping for the broadcast reality-segments tomorrow.

Leaving For Aspen!!!

2007-02-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

It's almost here. I'll head out to Aspen for the big comedy festival early tomorrow morning. This is so freaking exciting I can hardly believe it. I've also recently learned that some reality/documentary type segments will also be shot on myself and the eight other contestants who will perform at the showcase. That, along with the "Accidentally Famous" showcase will then be available at some point on Comcast On-Demand.

Although it didn't really hit me until late Sunday night, I'm also starting to get a bit nervous and stressed about the whole thing. Really, this showcase is an audition for many other opportunities. As the largest comedy festival in the country, Aspen is a chance to be seen by big people in the industry.

I'm bringin' the digital camera, and plan on posting all kinds of stuff from the trip as soon as I get back, or even from Aspen if I get a chance.

Here's a little snippet on the showcase I'll be in, from the festival's website:

ZIDDIO'S
ACCIDENTALLY FAMOUS
Who are the funniest undiscovered comedians in the country? Ziddio and Rhapsody created an eight-week online search to find out, and they invited the finalists to Aspen to perform Friday night at the Belly Up. Here's your chance to decide who's hot, who's not, and who has a television pilot in their future. You can cheer them on, console them with drinks, or consider stealing their material if it's any good. The entire evening will be hosted by the very funny Andy Milonakis with live music from Grammy-nominated Bowling for Soup

Okay... Vote For Our Clip Now! Um... Again!

2007-02-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I looks like we misunderstood the voting system for our latest contest. The voting just started a few days ago. That means all the nice ratings you all gave our commercial did nothing for the actual contest... at least as far as I can tell. Here's the deal...

First, make sure you're logged in and registered at www.youtube.com

Second, go to this link.

Finally, watch our video, or just give it a thumbs up in the voting section to the right.

It still isn't clear whether the winner will be chosen by judges or by votes, or a combination of the two, but we would still like your help! Mainly because winning would mean getting a nice sum of money. Yay!

Thanks again!!!

I'm Going To Aspen!!!

2007-02-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

This is really freaking good news. Like this is seriously one of my dreams suddenly coming true. For those who don't know, The US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado, is perhaps the biggest comedy festival in the country. Getting in and on stage there is no easy task, and under normal circumstances, there is no way I'd be going. However as some of you may remember, I entered this contest a while back, which has now won me a performing spot in the festival!!! Thanks by the way, to all those who voted for my video clip online.

I'll be one of several comedians to perform in a showcase they've titled "Accidentally Famous," on Friday, March 2nd. You can read more details on that near the bottom of this link. What does this mean? It means I get some exposure in front of a lot of industry folks. I'm totally excited, but scared at the same time because a big part of me wonders if this opportunity is coming too soon. Either way, I can't pass it up. I leave at the end of the month, and will be there for four days. Oh yeah, and as part of the prize, they're paying for my airfare and hotel room. Wish me luck!

Our Wacky Commercial

2007-02-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

Wow. We've been busy with a lot of exciting stuff this past week. I can't talk about all of it until some things are finalized, but there will be more news on this blog soon... I hope.

What I can tell you though, is that Keli and I were hard at work putting together yet another contest entry the other night. This one is all about who can produce the best TaxCut Online commercial. We came up with the wacky premise for our commercial a couple weeks ago, and I threw together a little script before shooting. Doing this made me realize how hard acting can be. I have no experience acting, which is probably why I had a tough time playing a hyped-up version of myself. Anyway, there's a big cash prize at stake, so please help us out by voting for the video at the link below!!! All you have to do is register, and/or login to youtube, and give the commercial a good rating. Thanks!!!

WATCH AND VOTE!!!

I Am A Geek

2007-02-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure before, but now it's official. This revelation came to me as I was trying to explain NBC's Heroes to my wife. I was telling her about how the dangerous mutant serial killer-guy had escaped, and how the invincible cheerleader was his next target.

"But how can he kill her, if she's invincible?" she asked. My response is what made me realize that I had truly achieved the ranks of geekdom.

"Because, Keli, NOBODY can survive getting your head cut open, and having your brains taken out. Geez!"

My geekiness was further realized the other day. I have been deeply involved in playing through the new Zelda game, which has managed to keep me up late more than a few times.

"What time did you get to bed last night?" my wife asked.

"One o'clock." I responded.

"Why so late???"

"I was busy trying to save the land of Hyrule." Keli gave me a confused look.

"Huh?" she said.

"Oh nevermind..."

Begging For More Contest Help...

2007-01-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

Considering my recent good luck with winning stuff online, I've decided to enter yet another online stand up comedy contest. As many of you may already know, I won a video ipod, along with several other prizes in this contest a few months ago. I also managed to win some free ipod stuff from this site right before Christmas(not comedy related).

This latest contest has a really nice grand prize. A panel of judges will choose several winners who will get a chance to perform at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado. That is the biggest comedy festival in the country. I normally wouldn't think that I'd have much of a chance in something like this, but there aren't a whole lot of entries and the contest is almost over.

Anyway, please check out my entry. Many of you have already seen this clip, but I am of course hoping that some of you will actually register on the site so that you can give the clip a nice rating. From what I understand, the ratings have nothing to do with the final judging, but it can't hurt right??? So help me out peoples!

WATCH AND VOTE HERE!!!

I'm Not Dead...

2007-01-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Wow. Life is busy. It's friggin cold, and I'm still trying my best to maintain a blog. Not much time today, so check out this story I shot at the full-time job. I thought it came out nice and pretty and all. Consider it a video blog post, or a vlog, as some people call it. I don't really like the term vlog though, because it sounds like the name a of a character from some geeky online role-playing game.

Bye!!!

Kids And Christmas Secrets

2006-12-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

Christmas is over, and we had a fun time. The older I get, the more I realize that it really is a holiday for kids. Opening our own gifts was fine, but the real enjoyment came from getting everything ready for Santa Claus, and watching Sydni open her gifts. Our ten-month-old girl Kate however, was more interested in the wrapping paper, than the new toys.

My gift opening was a bit anti-climactic, thanks to three-year-old Sydni. One day a couple of weeks ago, her eyes lit up as she said,

"Dad! Mom got you a present. It's for your iPod!!!"
"Oh, thanks Syd." I replied.

I knew my wife was thinking about getting me an FM transmitter/car adapter, so the cat was out of the bag. Luckily, I managed to keep my gift to the wife a secret though. As I started to wrap the new flash for her camera, my daughter's eyes again lit up.

"Ooooh," she said with excitement. "Is that for mommy?"
"Yeah!" I replied with some artificial excitement. "I got her a box!"

About an hour later Keli came home, and the following dialogue ensued;

"Mama! Mama!" Sydni exclaimed with some urgency.

"What?" Keli asked.

"Daddy got you a present, it's a..." Keli then plugged her ears.

"Lalalalalalalalala! I don't want to know! Lalalalalalala!" Keli used a technique she picked up years ago from watching Friends.

"It's okay," I said.

"He got you a box!!!" Sydni quickly interjected.

I win.

Happy Holidays.

The News Phone

2006-12-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when things are slow at work, I'll help answer the phones at the assignment desk. This can be interesting sometimes, because you never know who's on the other end of the line. It could be an upset viewer, someone with a story idea, and sometimes... well, take this one for example....

[phone rings]
ME: "2 News, this is Mike.."
CALLER: "Ehhh..."
[uncomfortable silence]
ME: "Can I help you."
CALLER: "Ehhh..."
ME: "Okay... Go!"
CALLER: "Ehhh..."
[more silence]
ME: "Okay... thanks!"
CALLER: "Ehhh..."

About ten minutes later, the person called again. And by some dumb luck, I was the one picking up the phone again.

ME: "2 News, this is Mike..."
CALLER: "Ehhh...."
ME: "What can I help you with."
CALLER: "Ehhh..."
ME: "Okay, I'm gonna' hang up now."
CALLER: "Ehhh..."
ME: "Bye."

I'm A Slacker!!!

2006-11-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

Dangit! With kids, a wife and lots of work, it's freaking hard to dedicate time to comedy writing every day. Oh yeah, and that new video ipod that I won seems to be sucking away my free time too. Today I realized that I was falling behind again. I've collected a lot of ideas, but just haven't had the time to sit down and work them out. To make things even worse... those ideas are spread out among different notepads, e-mails and saved documents. It's gonna' be tough just trying to remember where I put them all!

In the meantime though, I've uploaded some video from my latest performance. For some reason, the audience was freakin' hyped up! I know I wasn't that funny. It's like the whole crowd took speed before the show.

Holiday Lights

2006-11-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

Wow. What an exhausting week this has been, or at least the last couple of days were tiring. A trip up to Vernal for a news story seemed to take it out of me, and I'm still recovering. Friday night was the big Christmas lighting ceremony in downtown Salt Lake City. Our station usually makes a big deal out of this with live coverage and multiple cameras and all. Last year I shot this from the ground. This year, since we had some troubles with Sky 2, I was sent up to the roof of the LDS Church Headquarters building to set up a live backup shot. In the end, Sky 2 made it back in time, and my shot was never used. Nevertheless, I did manage to capture a nice clip of the lights coming on from high above. Here's a look.

Having said that, I know it's now time that Keli will start bugging me to put lights on the house. Dangit!

More on the lighting ceremony here.

My Rant About Heroes

2006-11-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

I don't watch much TV, but lately I find myself totally engrossed in NBC's Heroes. The comic-book-like theme makes the geek in me happy.

This week, they saved the cheerleader, and ultimately saved the world. The reason why will subsequently be explained in following episodes, however I do not believe explanation is necessary. The world cannot survive without cheerleaders. They make us happy... and spread cheer. Without them, everyone would be really, really sad and commit suicide. No one wants that. Thank goodness for school spirit.

The show is kind of like X-Men, but different. The cheerleader's ability is that she's invincible, but yet she needs saving. This, because no one can survive having your head cut open and your brain removed. That's almost always a fatal injury. No argument here.

The cheerleader also wears her cheerleader outfit EVERYWHERE. WHY??? I don't remember seeing cheerleaders dress in that garb every single day when I was in High School. It worries me. When does she have time to wash the uniform??? I submit that she never has time, and that nobody likes a stinky cheerleader. Please NBC, make her change her clothes.

Working New Material

2006-11-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start hitting the new material pretty hard again. It's always interesting to see the reactions to those jokes for the first time. To me, working out new bits always feels pretty rough, even if the material gets good laughs. Even though you have a "joke" worked out word for word, nothing really polished. The refinement comes only after several repeated performances... tweaking the bit a little each time. Within the two shows about a week ago, I worked in 3 or 4 new bits. Two got strong responses, two did not. I've already made some changes on the two good ones. I'll try them again to work out the kinks, and hopefully add new tags(punchlines).

For those who want to see it, I thought I'd post some video of me trying some of those new bits for the very first time. I kinda' cringed at the idea at first, but decided it might make my blog a little more interesting. It certainly isn't my best work. Anyway, here goes...

MORE Contest News!!!

2006-11-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

So I see it's been a really, really long time since I blogged. Actually, I started a blog post the other day, but haven't been able to finish the post because I was planning on including a couple of short video clips. It seems like I just don't have any free time anymore.

Now for the good news. In recent months, I've entered a number of stand up comedy competitions online. I got absolutely nowhere in most of them, but just found out that I won a second contest. It's the STARZ Network Stand Up Or Shut Up contest on jumpcut.com. Not a lot of people know about jumpcut, so there weren't a whole lot of entries, but there were a few really funny ones that I was sure had me beat. Anyway, as the grand prize winner, I get the Video Ipod that i've been lusting over for months, and a couple of other promotional items.

By the way, I know some of you out there actually voted for me on the site, so if you did, THANKS! In the end, they didn't go with the popular vote, but selected the winners on their own.

Wow. This means in about a week I can get rid of that wretched fake ipod I got for free a while back. Don't get me wrong, the fakepod works fine about 70 percent of the time when it doesn't crash. The real ipod will be sooooo much cooler!

Dangit!

2006-10-19T13:36:00.000-06:00

I just turned down a great opportunity because of commitments with my day job! A couple of months ago, I entered a comedy contest on myspace to open for the very funny Bruce Bruce. Contestants entered their stand up comedy video clips, each competing within their own region to open for the nearest stop on his current tour. Being in Salt Lake City, I competed for the Las Vegas show, at The House Of Blues.

The problem is Bruce's manager contacted me Tuesday to let me know, and the show is tonight. He says they realized last minute that I wasn't actually in Las Vegas. He also said my entry was by far the best one for the Las Vegas show, (which kinda makes me think they didn't have many entries). Because of the short notice, six hour drive, and work schedule, I will be unable to fill the opening spot.

Maybe instead, I could put on my resume that I almost opened for Bruce Bruce.

Anyway... in case you're curious. Here's the actual video I entered in the contest. I may look familiar to some of you...
Crazy Half-Asian Comedian

Add to My Profile | More Videos

The Open Mic

2006-10-12T09:59:00.000-06:00

I think there is something inherently twisted about stand up comedians. We all have something wrong with us, but no one can quite put their finger on it. If you've truly caught the bug, you get up on stage again and again, regardless of the result. There's no logical explanation for this. My wife thinks I'm insane. She's right.

After work, I got some dinner and drove over to Wiseguy's for my first open mic there in something like six months. I usually have to work Wednesday nights. As I sat there in the parking lot reviewing my new material, I noticed that every few minutes someone would walk up to the front door with a notepad, look at the door, and then walk away. It was a good 45 minutes before showtime. There's no advantage to getting in early, still several folks were just chomping at the bit to get inside. It reminded me of a druggie waiting to get his fix from a dealer. I haven't actually seen that a lot... but it's the only analogy that comes to mind.

Closer to 7:30pm, I also walked up to the door. I needed to use the restroom, but was as well turned away by the locked door and the sign that read "DOORS OPEN AT 7:30." As I turned around, I saw even more would be performers sitting in their cars, waiting to get in. I guess I can't fault them though. I know what it's like. I too was looking to get my comedy "fix" and I got it. It was overall a good show. There were nearly 30 open-mikers, which made it crazy long. I emceed and got to try some new stuff that worked, so I can't complain. Time to look for the next fix. I'm back at Wiseguy's again tonight for a guest set.

There was something very unfortunate and embarassing that happened during the show though. Someone near the middle aisle had some mad crazy gas. Every time I walked up to the stage to introduce the next comic, I would get a whiff of that stench. But because the stench was right in my path, I'm sure every comic I introduced caught it on the way up as well and thought, "WOW! The emcee totally let one rip on the way up stage!" Like I said, there were nearly 30 comedians. Now all of them think that I have bad gas, and no manners.

Busy Week So Far

2006-10-11T11:56:00.000-06:00

My job in TV news certainly has a way of keeping things interesting. This week so far, I've shot video of; a guy stuck in a collapsed ditch, three officers wrestling with a suspect as one attempts to tazer the guy and then eventually pepper-sprays him instead, and I got to meet Fergie. See the Fergie video here.

Updates

2006-10-04T21:11:00.000-06:00

I'm at home sick with a cold today, which gives me a few minutes to catch up. I'm still working hard at the comedy thing. I've been polishing my act with some concepts I learned during the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off. For some reason, just being in competition forced me to work harder, and pay more attention to things I should be doing. As a result, I've been pushing more facial expressions into my act, and judging from crowd response, it seems to be helping. Similar to what I learned as a TV news reporter, you have to really exaggerate your expressions to look normal up on stage, or on camera... or at least I have to.

Speaking of TV news, nearly one year later, I'm still feeling good about the career change I made from reporting to working behind the camera. The biggest difference is that I actually look forward to going to work. That's a refreshing feeling, and it's good to see that that feeling hasn't faded away as months have gone by. It's just too bad that it took me six years to figure out that this would be a better fit for me. Having said that, I'm posting a really cool video from work today. I shot this story with Peter Rosen, the station's feature reporter a couple of weeks ago. I shot about half of the story... basically the stuff that's not in the classroom. It turned out really nice though. Thanks in big part to Rosen's excellent storytelling and editing. Check it out!

Got Snakes???

2006-09-24T21:22:00.000-06:00

I've noticed a new trend in the "straight to DVD" entertainment industry. It seems that some B-movie producers are trying to capitalize on current big screen movies by producing films that have amazingly similar titles and premises. Coincidence??? Unlikely. You may have already noticed the numerous examples of this at your local video store. One film in particular made me scoff in disbelief.

Months before the release of this summer's very campy blockbuster, "Snakes On A Plane," there was already a cult following of people who couldn't wait for the release. However, many others like me just thought the whole idea to be ridiculous.

But, if for some reason, you can't seem to get enough of venomous snakes invading personal space, you can now get your "Snakes On a Train."

Either way, I am not impressed.

I would not watch them on a plane.
I would not watch them on a train.
I do not like snake movies or spam.
I do not like them, Samuel L. Jackson I am.

Worst Comedian Alive

2006-09-23T23:42:00.001-06:00

...It's me. At least according to one person.

Someone posted that three-word comment on my YouTube video earlier tonight. Strange thing is, moments before I discovered the comment, I was thinking that if I'm ever gonna' develop a unique enough style to be sucessful in this business, I'm gonna' have to be okay with some people liking me, some hating me. I thought of several comedians I admire, that many of my friends strongly dislike. There are so many styles of stand up, that you can't expect to please everyone and set yourself apart at the same time. So if one guy thinks I really, really suck, then that's okay. Hopefully that guy never comes to one of my shows. At the same time though, some strangers out there have been nice enough reach out, and tell me they like what I'm doing. Hopefully this means I'm on the right track. The tough thing with comedy though... I won't likely know for sure until about a dozen years down the line.

Either way... I can't give up on the dream.

Oh yeah, for those who will check, I deleted the comment. Although posting this blog kind of defeats the purpose of that deletion.

Funny Stuff

2006-09-12T19:47:00.000-06:00

Two things today that cracked me up so much I had to share, first this REAL advertisement for a REAL stupid product:

How stupid and backwards do you have to be to buy this crap? The only thing that would make this product even more perfect, would be a really sweet rotary-dial attachment. That would rock. If you don't believe that this thing is real, go to the company's website. Thanks to Tori for bringing this to my attention.

Second, if you care to take a look, is this video.

The Dreaded Credit Roll

2006-09-10T16:29:00.000-06:00

My three-year old daughter Sydni hates credits. I don't know why. Still, this unusual aversion for names scrolling accross a TV screen can make for some serious drama at the end of any movie. Saturday, she was sitting on the couch, watching Disney's Monsters Inc. As the movie ended, and the credits started rolling there was at first silence. I thought maybe she was enjoying the cheesy music playing in the background, listening to John Goodman and Billy Crystal attempt a duet. Moments later however, this disturbing tune was abruptly interrupted by an even more unpleasant shriek, and crying.

"WAAAHHHHH!!!! DADDY TURN IT OFF!!! TURN IT OFF DADDY!!! WAAAHHH!!!!"

Wow. It was like digital torture for her. I can't say I understand her intense dislike for the credit roll, but it gives me an idea.

Dramatization:

"Sydni! Go clean your room right now, or I will MAKE YOU watch CREDITS!!!"

(confused look)

"Don't test me girl!!! I swear, I will put in Toy Story and fast forward it right to the end!!!"

Just a thought.

Sad Story From Work

2006-09-09T16:33:00.000-06:00

Working in the news business by day isn't always easy. We get to experience a lot of exciting things, but some stories are just plain sad and sobering. This one in particular was difficult to shoot. It was hard not to feel horrible for the family and angry at the suspect. See for yourself.

Laugh Off Finals: Welcome To Hell

2006-09-05T16:13:00.000-06:00

Wow. The final night of the "Rocky Mountain Laugh Off" was a doozy to say the least. I dunno' how else to put it. I made the 90 minute drive to Wendover, Nevada with two other comedians from LA. The town is in the middle of freaking nowhere. After driving through miles and miles of seemingly endless salt flats, a few casinos with big lights popped out of the horizon. As the three of us walked in, we were met by about a dozen other comics.

"Wanna' see the stage???" One asked.

We all walked accross the casino floor to a bar. There was no separation from the casino, just a large open area with extra chairs set up, and several TVs showing college football games. Just above the bar was a big screen projection TV. Gayle, the manager of the Wiseguys in Ogden pointed to the screen.

"That's where you guys will perform." There were a few blank stares.

"In front of the TV???" one of the comics asked."

"They're gonna put away the screen."

It just wasn't a great set up for comedy. The stage was literally on top of the bar, and the crowd was pretty far away. Music from the casino could be heard blaring into the room. It was distracting. As the show started, audience response was minimal. They just weren't into it. Some comics seemed to "throw" their set. It was like they didn't care... they gave up. For whatever reason though, every once in a while someone would click with the audience and get a good response. I was not one of them.

In the end I ranked 14th overall, out of 22. Not horrible, but not great either. It was a good learning experience that taught me to work harder on having good sets every night. I heard a lot of complaints about the judging that I won't get into. Judges were chosen each night from the crowd. Sometimes they were club regulars, other times just random people. Either way, the result is subjective. I do believe the winner was well-deserved though. The very funny Andy Peters took first place.

As if my rather rough learning experience wasn't enough, there was more in store for me on the way home. During the drive back from Wendover, my car started doing strange things. The warning lights started flashing. The headlights grew dim. We pulled off at an exit in the boonies to check it out, and the car died shortly after. It's like the battery lost all it's juice. Long story short... I had to get it towed, got home at 4:30 am, and after $460 in repairs, I'm starting to feel a little "bent-over" by Wendover.

Here's a look at the top four(with some ties) overall. Congrats to all these funny guys:

1)Andy Peters
2)Marcus: Man Of 1000 Voices, Ryan Hamilton
3)Dave Metcalfe
4)Blake Bard, Stuart Paap

Laugh Off: Day Four

2006-09-03T23:52:00.000-06:00

The complete group of 22 comics was back together tonight for another really long comedy show. I think tonight's audience held up better than Thursday's though. I scored 8th overall tonight. We also got totals for the current rankings for the competition up to date, and I'm 12th... blah!!!

I'm learning a lot from this though... mainly that in comedy competitions, people get their feelings hurt, and others develop animosity for each other. A couple of comics have dropped out because they're just plain ticked off. That sucks. I hate to see that. The good thing is I'm seeing that if I really want to make something of myself in this business, I'm gonna' have to work a lot harder. That means more writing and more performing. Unfortunately, I only have it in my power to do more writing... so I guess I'll focus on that. We're off to Wendover, Nevada tomorrow for the final face-off. Hopefully this won't get too ugly.

Presidential Visit Stuff

2006-09-03T01:09:00.000-06:00

With the whole excitement of the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off, I failed to mention the busy week I had at work. My "day job," in the TV news business often bring some interesting experiences that make me wonder if I'll ever really give it up for a full-time comedy career. That's a topic for another day though... I still have a long time before I have to figure that one out.

If you haven't already noticed, President Bush made a stop in Utah this past week. Wednesday night, I was the "live camera" during our break-in coverage of the President's arrival in Air Force One. Setting up for these Presidential visits are always full of what's known in the business as "hurry up and wait." A reporter and I did a couple of live shots outside the Air Base, and then we had to quickly break down to drive in, and pass through security. I won't go into detail, but the Secret Service security sweep process is time consuming. I've gone through it several times, and it always takes hours. This one however, was relatively short. Whether you like him or not, it is always exciting to see our nation's President live. As he arrived at around 9pm, I was the camera following the action on live TV. There were literally thousands of Bush supporters in the crowd who got in for the event. Bush gave a short speech and shook hands with people in the crowd before leaving for the hotel.

Thursday morning, I was sent back to the Air Base for pretty much the same drill. Instead, the President would be leaving. The visit made for a busy couple of days. I think everyone noticed the stress level significantly dropped Friday after all the coverage was over.

Laugh Off: Day Three

2006-09-03T00:36:00.000-06:00

Both good and bad tonight. The 8pm show was sold out. I think the full room got everyone's energy up. Lots of great performances that show. I ranked third in that one. The second show had a much smaller crowd. Not a horrible crowd, but small. For whatever reason, I had a tough time getting into it. It was like I was ready to go home after the first show. I think my attitude brought down that performance... I scored eighth overall in that one... yikes!!!

Both groups of eleven comics are back together again in West Valley tomorrow night. That means another super-long marathon show with 22 comics. I hope I'm up early... but not first.

Laugh Off: Day Two

2006-09-02T00:36:00.000-06:00

Day two was much better for me. Though I was still exhausted from work, I managed to pull a second wind during the first show and actually wake up. I'm starting to see now that the scores really do fluctuate as the judges change from show to show. Tonight was a major improvement. I dunno if it was because I changed my set, had more energy, different judges, or a combination of the three. Either way, I scored 4th overall first show, 5th overall second show. I know it ain't first place, but I'm still happy with the outcome, considering the competition.

Everyone did an excellent job during the 10pm show. The crowd was very responsive, and each comic seemed to be on top of their game. I did get very ticked off though, when some guy's cellphone went off during my set! I made some remark that I can't remember for the life of me, and then went on. Even though I was freakin' mad, the audience was luckily still with me, and still laughing. Then the guy had the nerve to carry on his conversation, right there in the second row!!! I made another remark, and somehow managed to get back into my set before the club manager got over to him. Drunk rednecks suck. It's on to Ogden for Day three.

Laugh Off Begins...

2006-09-01T00:24:00.000-06:00

Tonight was day one of the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off. This is my first time taking part in a competition like this, which might explain why I got spanked. I guess it doesn't help that I've been busy at work, and I was freakin' exhausted. There's a lot of really good, funny comics in this thing, and maybe my relative inexperience just showed. I dunno... the judges are chosen randomly out of the audience. I'm told by other comics who have done this before that the scores fluctuate a lot from night to night, so I'll hope for better things tomorrow. For now, I've gotta' seriously re-vamp my set. Further updates to come each night... stay tuned.

Fuzzy Bunnies

2006-08-27T20:46:00.000-06:00

I have really no explanation for these pictures, except that it's fun to mess with the wife's expensive camera... especially when it drives her crazy.

That dang rabbit!!!

Now he's hiding behind the bushes!!!

What can I say? I was bored and on vacation.

Still Here...

2006-08-22T19:15:00.000-06:00

Wow. I haven't blogged in a really, really long time. I've been feeling kind of lazy lately, and somewhat un-motivated. Or, maybe my life just hasn't been interesting enough for a blog post. Anyway, I have been invited to take part in the seventh annual Rocky Mountain Laugh Off. It's a regional comedy competition and professional comics from neighboring states will be coming in to compete for the $1000 prize. This is my first time taking part in something like this, so I really have no idea what to expect, except that they start with 20 comedians, and the eliminations begin! It takes place over five days.

What Was That???

2006-08-01T20:20:00.000-06:00

"blah, blah, blah, blah..."

"Oh crap! I think she's talking to me!" says my inner dialogue. "Better tune in."

"...So, we'd get pictures of her drinking the water, and hiking and stuff. What do you think?"

This is where I stare blankly at my wife, and nod my head... slowly. In the back of my mind I start to wonder if this is something I can just pass off with a nod, or if it's something I really need to know. After all, the "nod" can be very bad. In the past, I've actually "nodded" my way out of conversations, only to find out later I'd agreed to something I didn't want to do.

"You don't get what I'm talking about, do you?" she says.

(Pause) I think for a moment.

"Um..." I start to say sheepishly. "So who are you taking these pictures with???"

"Aaarrrggh!!! Never mind! Just forget it! FORGET IT!!!"

Oops. I swear I used to be a good listener, then I got married. Something about marriage severely damages the male part of the brain that deals with comprehension, and...

...Oh crap, I think she's talking again...

Bye.

I'm Beat

2006-07-26T00:01:00.000-06:00

It's been a very draining week, both emotionally and physically. While things are starting to calm down a bit, the story that has dominated our local news is still very sad, and disturbing as new details are released.

Several days ago, five year-old Destiny Norton went missing. Hundreds of volunteers helped the family with the search. The community really reached out. Late Monday night, Salt Lake City police announced that they had found Destiny's dead body in a neighbor's basement. The whole time, she was just a couple hundred yards away from home. Dozens of family members, friends, and neighbors were outraged. Many lashed out at police. I was one of three photographers from our station posted outside the family's house where the crowd was gathering. Tensions were extremely high. I was a bit concerned for my safety at times, as we wondered whether the anger would fuel a riot. Luckily, things didn't escalate beyond that.

The feeling Tuesday, was much more somber. Family and friends were in a much more mournful state. Dozens of people also stopped by throughout the day to drop of flowers, notes, and stuffed animals to express their condolences for the family. This tragic story has truly touched a lot of people in Utah. I've posted the story I shot Tuesday below. You can also go to www.kutv.com for more details if you want. I won't get into more detail here, because I don't want to make this a "news" blog. Anyway, here's the video:

http://www.kutv.com/video/?id=17747@kutv.dayport.com

On a sidenote, I guess this goes to show how the two things I do(news and comedy) can be polar opposites.

My Problem With Free Food

2006-07-20T17:00:00.000-06:00

"Just because it's free, doesn't mean you have to eat it..."

...That's a phrase that has repeated in my head many times during the past few months. You see, I have this strange compulsion where if there's free food in my presence, I feel I have a responsibility to eat it. I'm not sure what it is... perhaps my awareness of all the starving people in the world. I mean, it doesn't seem right for them to starve while I selfishly let free food go to waste, right?
I was sitting in the newsroom today, when Mark at the assignment desk started to send me to spot news.

"Hey Anderson," he said. "Go check out this fall in Kearns, they're sending a medical chopper on it. The address is..."

What he said next didn't matter. It could have been anything. All I heard was blah, blah, blah, as one of our managers came in carrying several boxes of ice cream.

"Ice cream everyone!" she said, as she set the boxes in the usual free food area.

Slowly, I stopped drooling, and started to tune myself back in to Mark.

"...Anyway, start driving down there, and I'll page you the exact address."

I was kind of relieved that I had to go. At that moment of weakness, I'm not sure I had the will power to resist. It's not easy to give up your personal duty to fight world hunger.

By the way... I know I haven't updated my recent diet efforts on here. You may have assumed that's because I gave up and failed... or even more likely... you could care less. Either way, I'm still gonna' let you know that I've been sticking to it, more or less. I have slips every once in a while, but over the past three months, I've lost roughly 25 pounds on the Body For Life diet. I've also gained a little muscle definition... much more than I've ever had. Not that that says a lot. I've never really been "ripped" or anything. The most exercise I'd done in the past was a full day of marching band practice back in the High School days. This is much better than that.

So for what it's worth... I'm sticking to the diet. I'm a healthier man... even if it means turning my back on world hunger.

Video From The Day Job

2006-07-13T19:37:00.000-06:00

Not much to post about today, but since our station's website, www.kutv.com now has a direct link feature for video, I thought I'd post some of the stories I shot while in Cedar City for the Utah Summer Games. All of these were fun shoots, but we had very little time to work on each one, as we spent the days running like crazy from story, to story. The idea was to shoot enough stories for the coming week each weekend. Reece Stein did all the editing.

Cycling
Track & Archery
Cowboy Shooting
Baby Barn Owls
Tumbling

Base Jumper Breaks World Record

2006-07-10T16:00:00.000-06:00

Friday, I got to do one of those rare stories that kinda make the job worthwhile. Fields Mosely and I drove up to Twin Falls, Idaho where a man named Dan Schilling was to attempt to break the world record for number of base jumps in a 24 hour period. His goal was to jump of the Perrine Bridge 200 times... averaging a jump every six minutes. The whole thing was a rather large production. He had dozens of people helping set up, packing parachutes, and even running a crane to help him get back up the bridge really fast. Apparently the Perrine bridge is one of the few places where it actually is legal to base jump. As we shot the story, people were showing up all day, just jumping off the bridge like it was no big deal.

It was overall a cool story to shoot. I even got to ride up and down the crane, which made for some really cool pictures. I would have loved to have had more time though. As it often is in TV news, I ended up slamming the story together at the last minute. You can see the story at the link below. By the way... last I heard, Schilling surpassed his goal, totally blowing the previous world record out of the water.

http://www.kutv.com/video/?id=17180@kutv.dayport.com

What My Cat Does Online...

2006-06-28T18:43:00.000-06:00

Several months ago, a friend recommended I try using myspace.com to promote myself as a comedian. I did. I also discovered how addicting the site can be as I started networking in comedian forums, and as old High School friends magically found me. However I also found that the site has a very irritating side-affect, which out of lack for a better term, I will call porn-spam. They come in the form of "friend requests." When you open the message, they say something like,

"Hey, I really dig your profile, and would like to get to know you more."

But when you check out their profile, they have links to webcams and porn sites, which I assume have pictures of them that you could pay for with a credit card. Whatever. Some really, really lonely guys apparently fall for this though. It was kind of fun to see comments on the bottom of these "spam profiles" that say things like,

"Wow. You're hot. Thanks for the friend request. We should hook up some time!"

Loser. She don't care about you. She just wants your money.

I've talked about the myspace spam before, but now there's something new. My CAT is getting myspace porn-spam. Really.

WHAT!!!??? I know, this does of course mean that my cat also has her own myspace profile. She does, and you can see it here. And before you all think I'm some sort of a crazy cat geek, understand that I thought I was being funny by creating a cat profile. I was naieve enough to think that I'd be the only one. I thought hilarity would ensue as I started popping into forums as a cat with a temper. Instead, I'm now getting tons of friend requests from other cats... or cat fanatics. Gracie even gets comments from other cats that say stuff like,

"Wow! What beautiful fur you have! Thanks for being a friend! Purrrrrrr...."

Pervert.

My cat is being hit on online. Then the porn-spam started coming. One person obviously didn't notice she was messaging a cat when she said...

"I really liked your profile and I hope you like mine. We should chat sometime."

I couldn't resist a response...

"I'm a cat! Did you think my picture was hot or something???"

So far I've got nothing back.

Average Mexican Food

2006-06-26T15:39:00.000-06:00

Halfway through an exhausting day of shooting multiple stories down at the Utah Summer Games, Reece Stein, his wife, and I stopped in at a Mexican Restaurant for lunch.

The food was average. For someone who grew up in Southern California, where authentic Mexican food is abundant, this meal was not bad, but not memorable either. Instead, it was a sudden taste of nostalgia that made this experience unique. As I dug in to my chicken chimichanga, I was hit with the realization that I'd eaten there before... about eight years ago. It was where I took Keli for our first date. Not only that, but I was sitting in the same booth, and the same seat as I did that night. It is somewhat sad that it took me that long to come to this conclusion, but it simply proves the point that most men aren't big on sentimentality.

Eight years ago, the restaurant was called "Poncho And Lefty's." Today, it's just "Lefty's." I'm not sure what happened to Poncho. But I guess that's not important either. As I relayed this experience to my wife, it seemed like just enough to make her want to come down to Cedar City with me the following week. So she did.

As you might expect, we went to "Lefty's" for dinner again on Saturday. It was eight years, and two kids later. We talked about that night back then, and how we were as young college students. We talked about what we thought of each other on that first date, and how well we got along. As I got about half way through my asada burrito, I asked Keli a question.

"Is the food as good as you remember?"

She thought for a second.

"I don't remember the food," she replied.

"Hmmm..." I said. "I guess I don't either."

I guess that's not important.
There we sat, talking about old times, over a plate of average Mexican food. Things like that make me feel kinda' warm inside.

Or maybe it was just the heartburn.

When Monday Really Comes Too Soon

2006-06-19T14:54:00.000-06:00

I'm already beat and it's only Monday. Since comedy doesn't pay the bills(yet) it's nice to have a job that I love, but sometimes the TV News business can kill you.

This past weekend, I made a trip down to Southern Utah to help cover the Utah Summer Games. The schedule down there was grueling, and one day wasn't nearly enough time to recover. The rundown went something like this:

Thursday, 8:45am
After working until 11pm the night before, I hit the road early, starting on the four hour drive from my house in Layton, to Cedar City, Utah. Since I'm supposed to meet my reporter at 1pm down there, I'm already running a tight timeline, so I eat a sack lunch on the road, and gulp down a huge Coke to help me stay awake.

1pm
I just barely make it to the hotel on time, and we set out for our first shoot. Reece Stein and I shot our story during the span of two soccer games... overall this was pretty quick and easy.

3:30pm
We're done with the shoot, and I have a good 90 minute break before we have to be at an opening Banquet on the SUU campus. I took the time to visit some of my old professors, and pick up breakfast at the grocery store for the next day.

5pm
Time for the Banquet. Noting too difficult here. A little shooting people getting awards, and mostly sitting back and eating.

7pm(ish)
Opening ceremonies begin. I was impressed at what a big deal is made of this whole thing. Athletes from all over the state march in a parade with flags and all, and their families/fans cheer them on. It's much like an Olympics opening ceremony, just on a much smaller scale. During this time, I had a laundry list of things that I had to shoot, including a 9pm and 10pm live. Much of the night was spent running up and down the field to get video, running video back to the sattelite truck, and setting up for reporter live shots. It was slightly exhausting.

11pm
Finish for the day. What made this tough was our early turnaround for the next morning, when I got up at...

4:30am Friday
Eat breakfast and get ready for the day. We were back on the field about a half an hour later, and spent the rest of the morning shooting live shots for the morning show. I got done with all that around...

7:30am
Meet up with Reece again, and start shooting multiple stories to be used throughout the following week. I later counted, and we shot five different stories in total. We took a break for lunch, but otherwise went nonstop until around 4:00pm. The guy knows how to work hard. We went from story to story, without any real lag time in between. For the most part, it was show up, and start shooting immediately! I had the rest of the evening to myself. Friday was by far the toughest day. I was sore, blistered, and tired.

Saturday was relatively simple. Only one shoot at 9am; a story on Trapshooting. I drove back up to the station in Salt Lake City at around 11am. After finishing out some paperwork at the station and switching out my gear, I finally made it home just before 5pm. After spending some time with the family, I decided to lay down for a second at 9pm. I ended up sleeping until the next morning.

I can't believe I'm gonnna' do it all again this weekend.

How To Kill A Good Joke

2006-06-12T16:24:00.000-06:00

This weekend I learned that sometimes you can make stand up comedy a bit too complicated. I know stand up is hard, but sometimes when you have a bit that works, you need to leave it alone. Some of my best bits started out as "kinda" funny, but then got better as I re-worked, polished, and re-worked some more.

Over the past week I took two, very strong pieces of material and re-wrote them. Looking back, I'm not totally sure why I did it. For some reason though, I had decided that I found a new way to set up two perfectly funny jokes. I honestly thought those changes would make them funnier.

Example: One bit ended with "And my Dad would say, 'I think she just called you a filthy whore.'" (Crowd laughs, I feel validated).

I'm not gonna' write the whole joke out here. It's actually a callback, which means the funnyness of the punchline feeds on another joke earlier in my set. Besides, if you want to know the whole thing, maybe YOU SHOULD COME TO A SHOW!!!

Back to my example. For some reason, I thought it would be funnier if I shortened the setup and had one of my Mom's Taiwanese friends say it in a kinda' loud, angry Asian woman voice... "IT MEAN SHE CALL YOU FILTHY WHORE!!!"

I mean, that's funny stuff right??? Sure, you don't know the whole joke, but that just seems funny. Or at least it did to me. I even fantasized about people repeating the line back to me.

"It mean she call you filthy whore!!! Ha! Ha! That's some good stuff. Keep it up Mike!!!" a random person would say.

Geez... I'm really pathetic. Anyway, the end result was two perfectly good jokes that usually bring the house down nearly bombed. Dang. To make it even worse, I gave in to my stubborness and tried the "filthy whore" line in an Asian woman's voice TWICE!!! Once on Friday, again on Saturday. Dang again. Time to go back to what works.

On a totally different note, work over at 2News has been very busy. This weekend I'll be heading down to Cedar City to cover the Utah Summer Games. The cool thing is, I'll get to see Southern Utah University again. Haven't been there since I graduated in 1999.

Lost ChapStick

2006-05-30T22:31:00.000-06:00

I know chapstick only costs about a dollar. It's a relatively cheap item, yet it takes time to break in a new stick. You have to work the stuff in, rubbing down that hard, boxy edge... eventually getting it to fit the "contour" of your lips. Much to my dismay, I lost mine at work. I came back to work today to find a matching container of chapstick in the usual "lost and found" area. It's sitting in front of me right now. The inside even appears to have the usual "contour" shape that my lips produce. Still, I can't bring myself to re-claim it. After all... what if I'm wrong??? What if someone here with similarly large lips also lost their strawberry-flavored chapstick??? What if that person has mono???

I am in a quandry. I want it back, but the proposition truly scares me. These are the worries that plague my life.

Here's Some Video

2006-05-23T19:57:00.000-06:00

Had a great two shows Saturday night at Wiseguys in Ogden. I've been working hard on improving my delivery, watching tapes after each show, and it's good to see that finally paying off. It was seriously one of the best nights performance-wise, I've had in a long time. AND I actually took the time to put a clip on the web too. It's just a very short sample. Check it out!

Comedy Writing Update

2006-05-14T22:19:00.000-06:00

It seems my recent decision to stop being a lazy writer is already starting to pay off. I went a good while without writing any real great new material. Over the last week, I made a concerted effort to brainstorm ideas throughout the day, writing them down as they come. By the end of the week I had about ten ideas on my notepad, and determined that one of them was actually worth trying. The others may be good later, but they definitely need more work.

We had a pretty small crowd at the 10pm show in Ogden Saturday night, but I decided to try the new bit anyway. I was feeling pretty proud of the witty one-liner, and fairly confident that it would get some laughs. The effort paid off. I think that little joke got the best reaction of my set that night. Now I just need to keep this up!

On a side note, I noticed that I learn a TON more from videotaping my sets than from only recording the audio. Most of the time, I could listen back and think, "Yeah, that sounds pretty good." But the video is much more revealing, showing me where I need to improve in delivery, expressions, and timing. I get a few wierd looks from other comics since I take the camcorder in every time lately, but I think it's worth stepping up the learning process.

Writing Stand Up Comedy

2006-05-08T12:15:00.000-06:00

I think I'm posting this particular blog for me more than anyone else. You see, right now I'm going through a bit of a "reconstruction" of my writing process. It used to be that I could just brainstorm ideas in my head, and eventually write a joke down once I actually came up with something that seemed funny. Lately, like over the past several months, that hasn't been so easy and for whatever reason the writing has been very slow.

I've heard that this happens, that every comic reaches a point early on where it becomes tough to write material. I think it's because when we first start out, we have our whole lives to draw from. Many of these concepts have been developing for years, even if we haven't been actively performing or writing stand up.

After a lot of thought, I decided the writing process was going to have to start taking a lot more effort. Besides, stand up comedy is much like anything else; what you get out is a direct resulf of what you put in. Recently, I started brainstorming premises, writing anything down that I think one day might be funny. I've started carrying the notebook everywhere, jotting down ideas throughout the day. Again, most of these aren't jokes yet, they're just concepts that I believe will turn into good material. Many of my best bits that I use now started this way. With some, it took several months before I came up with just the right wording to actually make it work.

At some point later in the week, I can review the ideas, picking out the ones I like best, and then start to write setups and punchlines.

This is in many respects, "comedy 101." I should have been taking a notepad everywhere from the beginning. Instead, I simply acted on my laziness, depending on my good memory to help me remember the best stuff until I could write it down at home.

This is however, a bit of a numbers game. I think about 90 percent of the stuff I write just plain sucks, so I've gotta' churn out a lot of material to make the funny 10 percent larger.

I've only been doing this for about the past two weeks. So far, it is helping me write more. Now I'll need to start testing some of the good stuff on stage to see if it really is funny.

Comedians Are Like Salesmen

2006-04-17T17:45:00.000-06:00

Depending on how you look at it, the title to this blogpost may seem ridiculous... or make perfect sense. Either way... comedians have to spend a certain amount of effort "selling" their material, or we eventually fall flat. I can't seem to get enough of this lesson lately. I first grasped on to this concept about a year ago. At the time, much of my material that did well started to tank as I lost enthusiasm for the jokes. After a while, delivering the same stuff over and over can get old... and the audience can sense that in the delivery, even though it may be their first time hearing it.

When I started the stand up thing, I was naieve enough to believe that a good joke would stand on it's own. Much to the contrary, a terrible joke can be hilarious with the right delivery. My eyes were opnened to this concept even more Saturday night. I did two great shows over at Wiseguys. The headliner was a comic named Matt Iseman. He put on a great show. In recent weeks, I've put some effort in trying to beef up my "B" material. Basically, it's all my stuff that doesn't have to do with me being half-Asian. I went to several open mics, trying new set-ups, different arrangements, even different deliveries. I didn't think I was getting much result until Saturday.

With two shows that night, I decided to try doing the "B" material at 8pm, and the strong "A"(for Asian) material at 10pm. Going on with what I considered my weaker stuff at eight, I was surprised to see a very strong response. At one point, I thought to myself,

"Wow, if my 'B' stuff is doing this well, the 'A' set will surely kill at ten!!!"

I was wrong. While the Asian stuff still did well, it actually wasn't as strong that night. I think it was a direct reflection of how much I'd worked to sell the other stuff.

Maybe I'm looking at this all way too seriously, but I think it just goes to show the big laughs only come after some hard work. I used to think that as long as you knew your stuff, you could just perform at show time, without much need for practice. Truth is, comedy isn't any different than anything else... what you get out is a direct result of how much hard work you put in.

Is this too deep for a comedian blog???